Tonight i went out to dinner with my uncle rex, my moms brother, he is up from san diego i dont get to spend much time with him hadnt seen him since feburary, and it was good to go eat dinner, but you know it was also hard, it really made me miss mom alot and seeing more and more how each person deals with a situation is so nuts, my uncle is a very wise man, and its crazy he just has that aura about him, we had been talking about how he enjoys spending time with us kids cause it reminds him the fact of the traits we all have like my mom and he sees that she is still living inside us, and i told him thats why i wanted to spend time with him too, was beacuse i knew i would see that my mom is still very alive within him.....

it really sucks that so many things in life get so rocky and go so far beyond what they should,sometimes we tend to forget the things that other people do for us or the people around us, and we take it for granted, tonight i felt happy, and i cried some, because i saw my mom alive inside my uncle and it made me happy and miss her so much at the same time.

I still feel everyday is a battle i miss my mom sooo much and i have pushed other people away and put up big walls latly and done things and have said things and have not been perfect but i know my mom is looking down and i know she is in my heart, and getting to see my uncle tonight reminded me of all the people my mom has touched before she left this earth