Imagine, if you will, an alternate Universe, an alternate pattern of events.

Events that have yet to past.

Now, most sensible people believe that nothing out of the ordinary will take place on June 6, 2006 (or, to write it out in an understandable way, 6/6/6), and that's probably right.

Let me break here for a moment for those of you citing the recent findings that the Number of the Beast is actually supposed to be 616 or something like that. Shut your holes. Nobody who actually believes cares; to them, it was always 666, and always will be. Just shut your mouths. I'm tired of it being brought up every time I mention the number. Shut up and get a life.

Alright, I'm ready to move on. Sorry for that.

But imagine Lucifer, his mighty black wings still carrying scabs from his Fall tucked behind him. He knows the cries of the Revelator were brought on by a mix of opium and dehydration.

But Lucifer also knows that people believe it.

He has been claimed a Master of Deception by those who claim to be faithful to Yahweh, Alah, God, Reality Television, and whatever other names He goes by these days. And Lucifer doesn't deny it; he knows he's good at what he does. That being said, he knows that using people's false beliefs and interpretations against them is the best way to assert his power.

He also knows that he has help from those who have "defeated" and defied Yahweh in the past. You know, Lilith, Marduk, Angra Mainyu, the whole gang.

So there's a long battle that isn't worth going into many details about (except for the fac tthat it takes place on the 6th of June in the year 2006, and just for extra shits and giggles, at 6:06 AM), but the end result is Jehovah making a bargain for His continued existence. It didn't take Lucifer much thought about what he wants, and he agrees.

Now, let's break again and reference the "Good" Book. Open your books, boys and girls, to Genesis 1, which reads:

1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

See that? A void. Null. Nothing. Absolute jack. But let's skip forward a bit. Still Genesis 1, though, but just a little bit forward.

20 And God said, "Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the expanse of the sky." 21 So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living and moving thing with which the water teems, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 22 God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth."

Glory Be! The Power of the Lord! His believers say that creating all the animal life on the planet in one day is proof of just how freaking ammazing the Lord is. Proof in four sentences!

But Lucifer knew better.

In fact, any creature around during that time knew better. Adam and his succession of wives knew. I'm sure they even told their kids, but I guess it kind of just got lost in translation.

The Genesis Engine.

In the time of the void, Yahweh had put the Angels to work on the Engine so that way there wouldn't be as much work in the creation process. However, only His most trusted Angels were involved.

And "historically," who do we know to be God's right-hand Angel.

Hint: Sort of a male form of "Lucy."

So Lucifer knew the engine, and in fact, knew it better than Yahweh Himself. He knew how powerful it was, and more importantly, how to alter it for his own purposes.

Where were we in our post-apocolyptic story? Oh yes, the deal.

So in exchange for God being left in the most isolated bowels of Hell, Lucifer would have access to the Genesis Engine. It's worth mentioning, too, that those unfortunate humans who survived were now living without the modern conveniences we know in this universe, reverting to primitive, tribal societies that only knew scavenging for food and shelter.
It was pretty much like remote parts of the Middle East. But with more machine guns.

Lucifer, armed with the Genesis Engine,set up shop in a giant black castle (because by this point, he decided that playing to the cliches christianity had drawn of him were fun to play around with) and enlisted the help of the Angels who had worked with him on the Engine in the Beginning and changed some of the settings, making it so the formerly oh-so-sacred device created life from the inanimate instead of nothing.

Meaning?

That means that the remains of buildings, cars, traveling circuses, and pretty much anything not traditionally associated by aging hippies with "earth" came to life, and just for Lucifer's enjoyment, proceeded to beat the shit out of each other, ignorant of its cousins created generations earlier by the same Engine. What was better was that they could keep recreating themselves so that they could keep beating the shit out of each other over and over again.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why we should be glad that Revelation is bullshit.