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Last Updated: 11/16/2008

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 30
Sign: Leo

City: providence
State: RHODE ISLAND
Country: US
Signup Date: 9/6/2006
Sunday, October 26, 2008 

Category: Life
i miss my guys.  i miss EM speaking spanglish and his drawings.  i miss RT giving the thumbs up to everything and going "ahhhhh".  i miss PM constantly asking questions about his finances.  i miss JT talking about things that didn't happen in reality.  i miss JN "singing" along to frank sinatra and even his manic cycles.  i miss AE saying "uhhh, excuse me, timmmmmmmm?" and asking me if i'm his friend and reminding me if it's morning, afternoon or evening.  i miss JC telling me his bowling scores and being impatient for cigarettes and exchanging portagee power with the nurse.  i miss JS and having to promt him 27 times for meds.  i miss GG talking about the tacky accessories he purchased.  i miss DD telling me "same shit, different day" when i ask "how's it going buddy?".  i miss writing the shift review.  i miss all the abbreviations we used.  i miss writing progress notes.  i miss writing treatment plans.  i miss doing transport.  i miss going to social security and the bank and DHS and court and eleanor slater.  i miss going over meds.  i miss making dinner.  i miss being part of what i thought was a team and working with people i thought were my friends.  i miss leaving everyday and knowing i just made a difference today, regardless of how much bullshit and dehumanizing verbal abuse i had to put up with. 

when i told my professor i'd lost my job, she said "oh tim, i'm so sorry, i know how much those guys meant to you".  this is a woman who sees me once a week for 3 hours, and this was week 6, in a class of 25 people.  my love of helping those guys every day was that evident.  and i miss it.  i feel useless now.  i suppose i am.

here's damien jurado with "tragedy".  his new album is amazing.
Currently listening:
Caught in the Trees
By Damien Jurado
Release date: 2008-09-09
4:14 AM
 
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~*AJ's Mommy*~

 
Youre not useless now at all! Do you actually think anyone that I let go found themselves missing all those things you are missing? Think about that, I mean seriously. You have such a good heart, you are compassionate and caring and you actually give a shit about the clients. Thats HUGE! Think about how much you learned from being there. I bet you are bringing that experience with you to your class, think about all the things you know just from your clients and some of the staff you worked with. Think about what it was like working as a team, you were part of that team. You will bring all that stuff with you to the next place you work. Just as I'm sure you learned from being at Kids Peace, you brought that with you to FHR. And I've lost my job before too. Does that mean I'm not good at what I do? Hell no, I know I'm good at it, I think it's what I was meant to do...I learned A LOT from every place I worked. Take it easy, you find good clients and co-workers again, I promise!
 
Posted by ~*AJ's Mommy*~ on Sunday, October 26, 2008 - 1:20 PM
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?

 
it doesn't matter. i'm so overwhelmed right now. there's this apartment full to the brim of shit that i have to move out of. there's no jobs. i can't move back home. i'm just cashing in. fuck it.
 
Posted by ? on Sunday, October 26, 2008 - 6:55 PM
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