So, this guy, out of nowhere, starts to witness to me.  Apropo of nothing.  I don't know what I do to deserve shit like this.  

Don't get me wrong. I have religious beliefs.  I'll leave it at that.  I respect you enough not to witness to you, unless you ask.  Even then, I'll shrug through most of it. There's better people than me to lead you down the path of spiritual enlightenment.  

But there he goes. "The Holy Spirit guides me to tell you... I know I'm right because the Holy Spirit is in me and the choices I make... When I accepted Jesus into my heart... It says here right in this book.... Look! I am saved and unless you..."

I looked at him and asked, "What religion are you from, again?"

The guy shook his head and said, "I have a personal connection with Christ and the Holy Spirit. I don't define myself the way people who need a 'named religion' do.  It doesn't matter what you call me."

"Can I call you a Muslim?" I asked.
"Huh?"
"Can I call you a Buddhist?"

He looked at me like I'd breathed fart smoke in his face. Then he walked away.
That was it.  

It's been a while since I've read my Bible, but I'm pretty sure there's a good "Bear-false-witness" joke, in there somewhere.  

That's all I have to say about that.