We all hit the dark night of the soul in which we fell frustrated and lost.  In order to grow you need feed back, input.    Every author you listed spoke of the need of society and expression with in the boundaries of society.  Doing a edit of the self is not a bad thing.  What do I like about me, what do I hate, what has changed about me, what needs to change.  Self evolution is about exploration and execution of what needs and what must change. 

The hardest part is letting go.  To be honest in delving into the darkness and pain that has cause the blockage to begin with and then forgiving yourself for what has happened. 

For what its worth, I am a priest, I can keep my mouth shut if you ever feel the need to just vent and blow up at someone.  Its very emotionally painful, but it dose work.   Red wine helps a lot.   

Vach

 

I might take you up on the wine, but I don't know if I'm quite ready for the other part yet.  I need to be though.

 

Understand.  This is a process and it will take a very long time, a life time of honest self examination.  This is something that can not be forced, it has to come into it own at its own time.

Before you say anything, is this going to really suck, yah.

So, lets start with the wine and go from there. 

vach.

 

You also know where to find me.  I'll listen anytime you have the desire.  How did your dr appt go???  You never let me know.
 

 

i completely understand. i'm going thru something similar. i don't know who to talk to about it besides my therapist. yes, i'm seeing a therapist.
 

Good lord! It seems to me that you'r being alittle hard on yourself. Then agine I have no idea who you are, but you seem tormented.
 

Bravo! So honest & aware. Breathe. To truly understand who we are, we must understand what we are not. No need to be disgusted. Hope is the doorway to belief, belief is the doorway to knowing, knowing is the doorway to creation, and creation is the doorway to experience. Experience is the doorway to expression, expression is the doorway to becoming, becoming is the activity of all Life and our only function. What you hope, you will eventually believe, what you believe, you will eventually know, what you know, you will eventually create, what you create, you will eventually experience, what you experience, you will eventually express, what you express, you will eventually become.

Need, failure, disunity, insufficiency, requirement, judgment, condemnation, conditionality,
superiority and ignorance are all illusions. Evolution cannot be stopped; spiritual growth is assured. Action is always noticed; nothing goes unheeded. There is no reliable guide to behavior outside our own heart and mind. Reality changes at different stages of growth. At some level everyone knows the highest truth. Everyone is doing the best they can from their own level of consciousness. Suffering is temporary, enlightenment is forever.

Namaste'