Liz and I will be together again in 3 months. July, let's say we'll meet again at the most southern part of the whole country in the hottest month of the year. It's where we belong anyway. Maybe we'll even get suntans. =o
I had a really good time, there was no way to avoid taking it for granted. I swear I love her by no fault of my own.
We had fights here and there. Go figure it all centered around a substance called nicotine or patterns of projection (you're cheating on me). She ended up smoking too, so I guess that made it okay (?) . Not for me. I'm not ready to give up ciggarettes yet.
Jarred will have to wait for April 4th to start playing music again. We need to collaborate more, but we're falling into an old pattern of losing contact with each other. I get my car back then.
The only thing I can't stand about AA meetings are the dogmatics. Don't tell me about your religion, yuppie motherfuckers. I don't care who reads this. I have my own concept and that works for me, if you don't connect with that, fine. Program's been around for less than a century, how long has this problem been around? Thousands of years. Only a spiritual re-awakening is a sufficient substitute for the happiness we sought to achieve. Someone eventually wrote that down. Where have I gone wrong morally in my life? What ill decisions have I made along the way?
It's late at night that I start to reject these ideas altogether. I suppose it's an ego thing. So what.
The sick and the degenerate cast their judgements at a vulernable world, yet they can never control it or me. Likewise I can never be fully right, never hold dominion over any man.
Am I a powerful enough catalyst to change your mind.
I make this a statement to reaffirm that its humble nature is merely a facade.
It is only the dark piece of me that can shift you at all.
To be spiritually fit, one must also be ignorant.
Direct human powers are character defects.
Love is simply a climactic aberration under the devil's light.
The devil is a storybook character.
The center cannot hold. Not tonight.