Apartment Days, Part III

A short story by: Kadged and Krazi

"Oh my god." She finally said after a long pause. She ran her hands over my chest, over the scars, in amazement.

"How," she paused and gulped, "how did you get all those?" I looked down at the numerous scars covering my torso, shoulders, biceps, and forearms. How could I explain it?

"Babe?" She questioned.

"I..." I cleared my throat, as my heart sank into the crevices of my chest, "I did it." I raised my eyes to her as I saw her lower lip begin to tremble.

"I am a self-mutilator." I continued, then gulped, and didn't breath as I waited for her answer.

"Why?" She asked after an eternity, still in disbelief.

"It helped." I finally answered.

"H-helped, what? What could have made you do this?" She stammered.

"Alot." I answered simply.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She questioned as a sparkling tear ran down her face. I didn't have a good answer.

"I, was scared." I responded. She didnt' say anything as she looked to her side, away from me, with more tears streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry." I said slowly, breaking the silence. I raised my hand to touch her, but pulled back. I didn't deserver to touch her. She turned her head back to face me, her chin trembled as tears ran down her face. My jaw shot sideways as she slapped me.

"Did that help too?" She yelled. I turned to face her.

"No, but being with you does." I responded, without thinking. I saw her being to cry more.

"What is wrong with you?" She asked.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She screamed. She put her hands on her head and closed her watering eyes.

"I don't even know what to think of you." She said as she still sat on top of me, shaking. I heard a door open and Joseph's voice.

"Hey guys, listen, it's late, you're keeping me up, and I'm sure the neighbors are getting pissed. What's going on?" He asked. We all stayed silent for a moment.

"Nothing Joe, go back to sleep. We'll keep quiet." I answered hastily. She glanced at me angrily as I said it.

"Whatever" I heard him say in a tired tone, then the door shut. I kept my eyes on her the whole time, waiting for an action, a response, anything.

"I think I'm going to be sick." She said after a long time. i didn't know what I could say or do to make this right.

"Are you going to leave me?" I asked, not thinking.

"I don't know," she responded as she shook, and tears continued to slide down her  face, "but I don't think I can stay here right now." Without thinking I grabbed her wrist.

"Please don't leave me." I cried out. I felt   my eyes begin to well up with tears.

"I'm sorry," she said as she pulled her arm away, "but I can't stay with you right now." She climbed off of me, and put her shoes on. I didn't have the strength to get up. She walked briskly to the door. I gathered enough strength to pull myself from the  couch. I watched her as she faced me. She cringed and stared at me in amazement again. I didn't know what to say.

"I'll call tomorrow." She said softly as she looked away. She then opened the door, and walked out. I collapsed on to the couch as  the door closed. I began to cry quietly, and did so through the rest of the night. I don't know how long it was that I cried for, but I grew silent. I kept thinking aobut her. Had she gotten home? Was she okay? What would she do? An infinite amount of questions ran through my head.

"Yo, I'm leaving loverbirds." I heard Joe say as the door opened.

"Take care." He said as the door closed. I said nothing in return. I waited longer. I pulled myself from the couch, and stumbled to my room. I shuffled in, knocking and kicking over several items on the floor. I bowed to my bed table and opened the drawer. I reached in and pulled out my gun, a 9mm pistol. It hung loosely at my side as I walked bback to the couch. I sat down, looking at the pistol. This might have been the first time I was REALLY suicidal. All the scaring was just to help me deal with problems. Ways to punish myself, ways to forget about the pain. This was real. I quickled grabbed the slide and yanked back.

"15 Rounds." I mumbled to myself. I pulled back again on the slide and watched a bullet eject from the pistol, and fall to the carpeted floor.

14.

I heard the pistol click as I cocked it again.

13.

I didn't really know why I was really doing this.

12.

No amount of self-injuring would help me now.

11.

I was beyond that.

10.

Only one thing would cure it.

9.

But it wasn't cominng.

8.

What else did I have left to do?

7.

This must be all that's left.

6.

Nothing left to live for.

5.

Was this to be my end?

4.

My demise?

3.

Did I really want to do this?

*ring-ring*

I stopped.

*ring-ring*

I looked at the phone, then picked it up.

"Hello." I said instinctevely.

"Hey, wassup? Joe there?" Came a husky voice on the other end.

"No." I said dryly

"Oh alright." He said, then hung up. I hung up the phone as well. So that would be the last person I talked to? Someone whose name I didn't even know. I reached for the slide.

*ring-ring*

I was ready to shoot the phone. I grabbed the phone and placed it to my ear.

"Hello." I said again. There was a pause.

"Hey." Came a voice. Her voice.

*** The End... sorta. Alt. Endings coming soon! ***