THE BIRTH OF A BOWIE FAN:

1973

Number 1524, that's what I am, now I'm an official 'Dave Bowie' fan. It was football, painting, bird's eggs and Ziggy. And not in that order. I wonder what happened to the Free Trade Hall gig? I must've been playing out.

Running down the wing with a hedgehog on my head, when I get a bit older I'm gonna dye it red. Off came the eyebrows, on went the glitter, didn't get many jobs as a babysitter.

My schooldays were insane...

"He's a puff that Bowie is, he's a puff."
"So... so fucking what."
They didn't realise you get more girls that way. Wankers.

I did a morning paper round. Every week I sat down in the entry reading Popswop, Mirabelle and Jackie. I used to rip the Bowie bits out. I got the sack after three weeks.

Summer holiday...
Running round Blackpool Fun Fair I spot two Ziggy posters.

"Oi Mister. What do 'ave to do?"
"Score under twenty-one with three darts."
"OK."

First throw... 'four', second throw.. 'eleven', third throw.. 'two'
"Sixteen! I'll have that Ziggy poster please."
"No it's seventeen."
"Fuck off. It's under twenty-one isn't it."

So I try for the second poster. Could I get under twenty-one again? Could I bollocks. Seven goes I had, spent all my money... still only got one poster. The bloke just shrugged his shoulders. I walked off devastated. I went to meet my mum in the ice cream cafe, she was smiling and waving... she always looked fine.

"What have you won?"
"A Ziggy poster"
"So why are you looking fed up? It's a lovely picture."
"I've spent all my spends and I only won one, there was two of them."
"You spent ALL of your money trying to get the other poster?
"Right.. wait here with your brother."

She came back two minutes later with the other Ziggy poster.

"Thanks Mum you're great. You got under twenty-one then?"
"No the man gave it to me."

I don't know how my Mum did things, but she ALWAYS seemed to sort everything out. I found out years later that she threatened to punch the fella because he'd taken all my money. 'Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am!'

In with a bullet strikes a red and blue lightning flash... 'Aladdin Sane'. Or so the story goes it should have been 'Love A Lad In Vein'. I like to think it's an anagram of 'Dad's An Alien'.

"BOWIE QUITS" read the headline. I was mortified. My mum said it was all planned out: "He's more like an actor. He's just going to change into another role, you'll see." I didn't believe her.

"Who's that on the cover with Bowie?" asked my mum.
"Twiggy?... Isn't she thin?"
"No wonder she's got a boyfriend called Justin!"

The last track got me worried again... 'Where Have All The Good Times Gone'... well, they were just around the corner.

TO BE CONTINUED........