there are things i would say....if i was allowed to...but let this be known as a disclaimer...this is in no way directed toward ANYONE. it's my own thoughts as what is going through my head right now. these are the things i would like to say if i could, but will not direct it at anyone.....i just have to type this out to get it out of my own head...and something i can review...and look at.


loving someone is hard business. you always have trouble. whether it's something you do or the other person does....nothing is perfect. you have to work hard at things, you have to show the love and support you have for that person. at times for me....it's difficult cause i'm a stubborn bastard. and i let things get to me that shouldn't. even though when it's something that is justified in being mad about. i don't think it's right to throw something down the drain....over something that can be fixed...and the person is willing to do so. love cannot be extinguished....and the pain that someone feels when someone leaves.....is unlike any pain you ever feel. it's something you can't face....or you feel you cannot.

it's of my opinion, that you have to rise to the occassion, and prove yourself beyond shadow of a doubt. that you can do the impossible so to speak that was never possible before. as in myself......i've decided that i need to talk to my old pastor and mentor about getting my temper under control....i'm actually dialing his number now. i am a good husband and father....but i need to kick it up a notch.  there are things i need to improve on.......and it's my vow to do so. whether it means anything to anyone...who knows.

but i have to do it for me...if no one else...me. i am not a bad person....people that know me can tell you that.


so for all of you out there...that have ever had problems with loved ones....take my advice...slow down.......shut up.......an thank God every day of your life you have someone that loves you for who you are.  now pardon me...i have to take the step toward a rebirth