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Work's for Jerks "Good taste has no doubt deprived me of a great many things." -- David Rabe

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Monsieur Champagne



Last Updated: 11/17/2009

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Team Yasumura
Tuesday, February 17, 2009 



I’m very fortunate that I don’t have a day job, but if I did—

This is what I would eat.

This is how I would stand.

This is what I would wear.

This is how I would sometimes not shave.

This is how I would wear my tie: slowly loosening on its own, top shirt button unbuttoned.

That isn’t what I’d drink because I don’t drink coffee.  (I’m assuming that’s coffee.  The only other thing it could be is coke with no ice, but no one drinks coke in a coffee cup.  And certainly not without ice.)

And this is how I would feel.  (And you’re going: “How do you know how he feels?”  I see the smile there: that thin-lipped upturn of air-conditioned peace, that quietly bemused mien of satisfaction and—even—victory at finally getting the one thing you enjoy all day, ham on a bagel at three minutes past one in the afternoon.)

Oh, and that’s how my head would look at my job: with the top half of it missing.


I remain

Champagne

Currently watching:
Righteous Kill
Release date: 2009-01-06
12:34 AM
 
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The Popular Stand-Up Comedian Jim Woster

 
You may think that's what you would eat, but the fact that the ham is on top of the bread product suggests to this long-time drone that he is one of those employees who brings bread, meat and condiment to work separately -- as in, in separate containers, not on different days -- and those are the employees who want their workplace to feel like a home.


Tell me that doesn't scare you.

 
Posted by The Popular Stand-Up Comedian Jim Woster on Tuesday, February 17, 2009 - 3:25 AM
[Reply to this] 
Monsieur Champagne

 
You're right. Horrifying.


Getting your workplace to feel like home must be tough for hookers. Except for the ones who work out of their homes.

 
Posted by Monsieur Champagne on Tuesday, February 17, 2009 - 3:29 AM
[Reply to this] 
Team Yasumura

 
Some of us don't need a job to assume the above pose. One could find me, in precisely this way, in my home, for hours at a clip.

 
Posted by Team Yasumura on Tuesday, February 17, 2009 - 3:25 AM
[Reply to this] 
Monsieur Champagne

 
With those cabinets?
 
Posted by Monsieur Champagne on Tuesday, February 17, 2009 - 3:29 AM
[Reply to this] 
Michele
Michele Breeze

 
Everything tastes better in a mug.

 
Posted by Michele on Tuesday, February 17, 2009 - 4:59 PM
[Reply to this] 
Monsieur Champagne

 
Even steak?
 
Posted by Monsieur Champagne on Wednesday, February 18, 2009 - 12:56 AM
[Reply to this]