this is a horrible reproduction of the most gorgeous song... ferry corsten apparently is responsible for this remix (i had thought it was mr digweed...) well anyway i fucking cried because this song was so beautiful. you can go to my page to hear the regular version but it isn't as amazing as the one he did live... god i hope i can buy ultra dvds from this year or DL those sets...





then there is this fucking song... i WORSHIP this song... trance was really sucking for a while. looks like digweed & corsten are bringing it back for the win. this video is kind of silly but that isn't really the point...


ULTRA 2007 was the most AMAZING day of my ENTIRE LIFE, & you can't possibly know how many amazing days i have been so lucky to go through in this absolutely wonderful life i have. i am god & i thank only myself. so just think about that. my entire life is amazing, but this day, so far, took the cake, as "they" say.

why? let me enlighten you.

i spent the day with nick pelak, christina gramm & corsten/digweed/tiesto/van dyk. nicky & i bonded on a very particular level that i am so glad we finally got to share.... nothing is better than having someone look you directly in your eyes & say without blinking "i love you"

we stayed in some jank hotel the night before, & made it to ultra around 2 or 3 i am not sure.... let me start by describing to you the gloriousness of the day. the sun was warm, the cool wind blew heavily, & the clouds... if you know me, you know how i am about clouds, & these clouds promised secrets i could only begin to contemplate. they hung low & undulated swiftly across the sky, grey, white & black. it could not have been more perfect. met my good friend nazir (we have the same birthday, we are awesome) who was working there in the carl cox tent as fat boy slim was playing... whatever on that, house is not really my bag. but they were the only people with a tent & at least it was a cool looking tent... it had these crazy fucking inflated things hanging from the ceiling that reminded me of cthulhu,

& also these ones that looked like some very malicious pollen...

yikes.. that shit is trippy... i kind of wanted to take one home but i was worried they would give me nightmares; oddly enough i have been having spikey things in my dreams. christina left to find water, which was 5$ for a bottle of shitty dasani. she returned after a while dismayed as to not being able to find the water. the tent lights were really starting to trip me out at this point, so when she grabbed my hand & started to pull, & i instinctively latched onto nicky's hand, we flowed through the slip stream of heat-eminating, gyrating bodies, & i felt as though there was nothing but a void behind me, as existence rushed past me & sucked into the nothingness from which everything came. i could feel nick & chrstina's thoughts entering my body, creeping up my arms like fire catching on oil.



as my feet touched pavement beyond the border of the tent, it began. without any anticipation, the rain pounded hard to the earth. my hands flew into the sky with glee, screaming & laughing, i could not have given a sign more appreciative to heaven. i had wished for this to happen. & it was. my life is like this more & more. the rain was cold & hard, & we giggled to ourselves as it sent many ultra-goers fleeing into the tent at our backs. there was mad rushing energy as people herded to find shelter. silly humans. we three stood proud to be soaked, knowing that we are more human than these plastic media-brained dopplegangers seeking something overhead. i don't seek anymore... i have found me. i am my overhead. why should you run from the rain, that gives us all life? unappreciative mortals... since when have you become so brainwashed to care about your hair, your clothing, your make up, that you can't understand the most SIMPLE & OBVIOUS yet totally miraculous phenomena that we are so lucky to experience, ever. you fools. run & hide from yourselves a little longer, it will catch up to you before the end.

was it not ironic? christina had dragged us from the tent because she could not find the water, but as soon as the sky was over our heads it answered her prayers, & mine. there was some decoration dictating that we were indeed at the ultra music festival, but none of it was as captivating as the proliferating cumulus or the vivid, verdant grass. i stared at both for a long time as we alone stood still in a sea of commotion. finally motivation crept back into our bodies, & we saught plastic imprisoners of hydrogendioxide. the urge to skip around was undeniable, carrying my being on a bouyant stream of energy that hovered above the ground & smothered the area like miasma. utterly drenched, i felt life exchange at my pores like oxygen bubbling out from a newly submersed sponge. i knew this was only the beginning.

we had intended to search for nazir, but people interchanging & speaking out of no where made for some confusion of our mission. we forgot. our search for whatever we were actually tracking down, though completely unbeknownst to us at that point (you cannot know what you have not yet experienced), lead us to the mainstage, where i had seen infected mushroom perform exactly one year prior. we couldn't have known that what we were really searching for was this spot at this exact moment, as ferry corsten began to spin the aforementioned remix of the killers song mr brightside, though it was not at all apparent.. the only thing you could hear was haunting, echoing, beautiful ambient twsiting melody with no beat. already the energy around us was rising as if to speak of something tempestuous to come. how could we have known? brandon flower's voice exploded onto the crowd, who was just as clueless as we of what was happening. the riotous screaming & jumping that spontaneously followed was not enough to drown out the sound. yet i was still, still. nicholas pelak held me tight as the rain came down more gently, caressing my upturned face. the clouds swirled around the now visible moon, which was directly over my head. if a laser were to have shot down from it, it would have pierced directly though the center of my body. it was totally out of my control. i began to sob, smiling, laughing. i had yet to feel so fucking alive. élan. nick laughed & pulled me closer. i love him. so. fucking. much. the dilation of our pupils, like all else we share, was a perfect match.

i finally stopped crying when ferry corsten began to spin "fire", a song i had up to that point never heard. i would not have it another way though, because i will always & forever equate this song with the perfect day we shared in miami. whatever we were looking for was forgotten, looking was forgotten, we were taken away by the only mode of completely free expression i have ever known: dancing. christina & i are the fucking shit, by the way. i was caught in a wave of electricity, losing all control of my limbs & hips, surrendering utterly to this fantastic immediate action that we call living. i think the crux of humanity's erratic evolution up to this point has all been for the creation of trance music.

even though the rain came down, the music played on. i am sure somebody's expensive equipment got ruined, but the djs kept on without regard for their material posessions, having in mind only the satisfaction of the undulating crowd. i was thankful. the clouds sprawled overheard like a sluggish cat running towards the now setting sun. everything was starting to become tinted peach, pink & purple as the clouds reflected back shades of the sky onto the earth below. my appreciation could not be described in words, only by my personal transformation into a cloud itself. i was freezing, but i didn't care. drenched down to the very last inch of my skin, i didn't care. nothing was more important than this. i never wanted to go home again.

as the night closed in & the djs changed, i spent some time trying to modify christina's assertiveness. the worst people can say is no, you know? the darkness spread, pierced through by huge oscillating screens flashing audily triggered visual displays of pure bliss & insanity at the same time. the moon glew the brightest of all, & the stage sent huge rays of green light across the low clouds, splashing onto the unfinished skyscrapers that made up the back horizon of the park. it was time for the real lights to come out now... they started small but soon the glowsticks were everywhere, then, the glow THINGS. i was quite entertained by this guy sporting something he called "el wire",



truelly amazing shit. then this guy went by us in dreadlocks, with a glow attachment to EVERY SINGLE ONE. he tossed his head side to side, sending the lights swirling out from his face. he was a genius obviously. i had been borrowing people's glow devices at this point, unsatisfied with what i had acquired. i noticed this dude with a flashing ring light on each finger... just standing there, waving them around. i knew i could break it down with only two of them.. so i asked, & thusly received. finally now that i had something that lit up & allowed for my palms to be open, i could really dance the way i was meant to... like a light-ring wearing psycho. i noticed a guy shooting me doing so, & incquired as to his camera settings. he had no idea what he was doing, so i tweaked it a little bit, adjusting to my personal settings that i always shoot nocturnal luminous objects. i got to keep the rings.

i wish i could have stayed till the end but,
maybe next time....
don't you want to come next year?