My friend and mentor Danny Tiberghein would have been 50 years old today! I just had to pause a moment during my day to pay some tribute. He was my 6th grade science teacher and then when I got to the upper school he was my drama director. He was my first favorite 'gay American', long before Governor McGreevey introduced us to that term. He knew I was gay I'm sure years before I did - he was such a stealth supporter. Junior year he cast me as Mr. Mushnik in Little Shop and choreographed this whole dance scene where I got to pick Seymour up and twirl him around - surely he could tell I had the biggest crush on the boy playing Seymour. When I went to college and finally came out, we hung out over the holidays when I was back in the Rouge. We went dancing at the sprinkling of sad gay clubs that hid in the shadows of the Mississippi River Bridge downtown - he took me to the first drag show I ever saw, a tragic pageant at the even more tragic Mirror Lounge on 3rd Street. It has since been torn down but I think about him every time I pass that corner when I'm home.

Danny was a free man. He was who he was and he just didn't seem to care what you thought about it. To me as a young gay man growing up in Baton Rouge in the 1980s, that was at first terrifying to witness but ultimately inspiring beyond belief. He had so much love! After my father died, my relationship with Danny took on even more significance - he was my gay father figure, living life as himself and encouraging me always to do the same. He once gave me a copy of Armistead Maupin's "Sure of You", which he inscribed "...and I am!" For so many years I was so terribly unsure of myself but always there was the knowledge that Danny believed in me. He believed in himself, and he believed in life.

I am somehow not surprised at all that the universe alligned to schedule my first-ever solo show last year on his birthday - even though that show was about my relationship with my father I dedicated it to Danny. And this year my new show was placed on a festival lineup for...last night. In so many ways, Danny is the spirit of art to me, and I have been proud to remember him and invoke his courage on these occasions. He would have so enjoyed each production, I think.

He was killed about nine years ago in his own home, then dumped unceremoniously on the levee in West Baton Rouge Parish. Nobody deserves such an ignoble death but it seems to me least of all Danny - one of the most noble spirits I have ever known. Danny, I remember you. I love you, friend. A few years ago when I had really dragged myself down into the gutter, one of the things that got me to try and start getting my life together was the painful thought that you who gave so much to life had had yours taken from you, and I who still had mine was sort of just sitting around, slipping into oblivion. You had been so sure of me! Your belief, even from beyond the grave, gave me strength to try and change what I was doing to myself. That is the power of the human spirit at its best. And I am just one man - you loved and helped so many others too.

You were gone too soon. I miss you. Sometimes I wish you could come up and see me - and sometimes I feel like you do. I will never, never forget. Happy birthday.

Rest in peace.