YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN TOUCHED, BY MY TRUE LIFE TALES? I PUT MY LIFES STORIES INTO MY SONGS! HERE IS A RUN DOWN ON THE EVENTS THAT RESULTED IN THESE SONGS!
"SHE'S SO FAT!"
WRITTEN IN 1996 IN, "SHINGLE SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA!"
WHEN I WAS LIVING IN SOUTH LAKE TAHOE BACK IN THE '80'S. MY FRIEND DATED THE FATTEST GIRL I HAVE EVER SEEN! WE WOULD ACTUALLY HEAR HER COMING UP THE SIDE WALK. SHE ONLY WORE TIGHT PANTS AND, TWO SIZE TO SMALL OF CLOTHES. SHE WAS A NICE PERSON... BUT, FOLKS COMEDY COMES FROM WHERE IT DOES. THIS SONG HAS MANY FOLKS UPSET! I DO NOT WISH THIS TO UP SET ANYONE! AFTER ALL I AM A FAT MAN MYSELF!
HERE ARE THE LYRICS FOR THIS VERY FUNNY SONG!
"SHE'S O FAT!"
WRITTEN BY RON GILLIHAN
FROM THE PRO MEDIA C.D. RELEASE
"SPACE GAS"
[SUNG AS COUNTRY MUSIC]
WRITTEN IN [1996]
RECORDED IN [2000]
[VERSE 1]
I CALLED YOU A LARD ASS, YOU SAID I WAS INSANE?
I SAID, HONEY YOU'RE SO FAT, I THINK IT SHOT YOUR BRAIN?
YOU ATE ME OUT OF HOUSE AND, HOME. EVEN ATE MY GINNIE PIG PET.
ONE THING I'M WONDERING. HOW FAT WILL YA GET?
[CHORUS]
WELL, YOU DON'T LOOK GOOD IN ANY CLOTHES.
A MOO-MOO DRESS OR, PANTY HOSE.
BLUE JEANS, JUST MAKE HER LOOK TO TALL!
WELL, YOU DON'T LOOK GOOD IN BLOOMERS
AND, SHE DON'T LOOK GOOD IN SPANDEX.
SHE DON'T LOOK GOOD IN ANYTHING AT ALL!
WELL SHE'S, FAT IN THE CELLAR AND, SHE'S FAT ALL TOGETHER
SHE'S FAT FROM A FOURTH FLOOR VIEW.
WELL SHE'S, FAT IN THE KITCHEN.
AND, YOU KNOW YOU'LL HEAR HER BITCHIN'.
I'M SO, FAT!
I'M SO, FAT!
I'M SO, UNBELIEVABLY, FAT!
[VERSE 2]
WELL, SHE SAT ALL DAY AND, ATE SOME TWINKIES,
SHOVED EM' DOWN ONE AT A TIME.
YOU KNOW SHE'D EAT CONCRETE.
IF THAT'S ALL, SHE COULD FIND?
SHE'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING, THAT A WOMAN WOULD EVER GIVE,
FOUR HUNDRED AND, TWENTY POUNDS!
GOD HOW CAN I LIVE?
I DON'T KNOW WHY?
SHE'S SO DAMN FAT?
SHE'S SO FAT.
SHE'S SO UNBELIEVABLY FAT!
[SINGING SPEECH]
"SEVENTY FIVE PERCENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, HAS MORE FAT AROUND THEIR WAISTS, THAN ALL THE ENTIRE "MCDONALD'S" CHAIN PUT TOGETHER.
EVERYONE LOVES FAST FOOD, QUICK CONVENIENT FOOD WITH LOTS OF FAT.
THAT'S WHY WERE ALL ABLE TO TAKE A ROLE, AND GIGGLE THAT ROLE...
SO, COME ON... COME ON....
PICK A ROLE, PICK A ROLE. AND, JIGGLE THAT ROLE.
PICK A ROLE, PICK A ROLE. AND, JIGGLE THAT ROLE.
OPICK A ROLE, PICK A ROLE, PICK A ROLE, PICK A ROLE
OPICK A ROLE, PICK A ROLE, PICK A ROLE, PICK A ROLE, PICK A ROLE
AND, JIGGLE, JIGGLE, JIGGLE, JIGGLE, JIGGLE, JIGGLE, JIGGLE,
JIGGLE, JIGGLE, JIGGLE, JIGGLE, JIGGLE, THAT ROLE..
[REPEAT VERSE 1]
[REPEAT CHORUS]
THE NEXT SONG IS
"COWBOY TOWN"
I WROTE THIS SONG ABOUT MY HOME TOWN OF, "PLACERVILLE, CA." TODAY THE TOWN SEEMS UP TO DATE?
BACK IN MID 1851, "PLACERVILLE" [OLD HANGTOWN] WAS THE FOURTH LARGEST CITY IN, "CALIFORNIA!" YET THERE WERE STILL FEW WOMAN IN TOWN! EVEN WITHOUT WOMAN, COWBOYS WOULD GET DIVORCED THREE OR, FOUR TIMES! THIS IS A SONG ABOUT HOW A LITTLE TOWN CAN GROW YET, STAY A LITTLE TOWN!
"COWBOY TOWN"
WRITTEN BY RON GILLIHAN
FROM THE PRO MEDIA C.D. RELEASE
"STAYING REGULAR WITH RON"
[TO JACK WILSON]
1997
VERSE 1
WELL, I JUMPED ON MY HORSE AND, I HEADED ON DOWN THE ROAD.
WELL, I GOT UP TO A GALLOP AND, I'M INTO THE COWBOY MODE.
WELL, SHEEP AND, CHICKENS. FOUR EX WIVES.
I'VE BEEN A COWBOY MY WHOLE LIFE.
THERE'S A LOT MORE TO THIS STORY, DON'T YOU KNOW?
WELL, THERE AINT A LOT HAPPENING IN THIS TOWN OF MINE.
THE SHEEP ARE PLENTY BUT, THERE HARD TO FIND.
AINT NOTHIN' BUT COWBOYS IN THIS TOWN.
WELL, THERE AINT A ROCKER TO BE FOUND.
LET'S HEAD TO THE HOE DOWN, MY BOOTS ARE ON.
WELL, I'VE GOT A GREAT BIG DULLY TRUCK.
AND, A JOHN DEER TRACTOR, THAT WON'T GET STUCK.
A HUNDRED AND, FIFTY ACRES OF PRIME GROWIN' LAND.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'LL GROW?
IT WAS CORN LAST YEAR YOU KNOW?
AND, CANNABIS, THE YEAR BEFORE.
WELL, I SPORT A TEN GALLON COWBOY HAT.
AND, I KNOW JUST WHAT IT MEANS.
WELL, I SIT ON THE PORCH MY FAMILIES, SAT FOR YEARS AND, YEARS IT SEEMS.
THE ONLY MY LIFE IS PITIED.
IS WHEN MY ASS GOES DOWN TO THE CITY.
I SEE THAT CEMENT JUNGLE THEY CALL HOME.
WELL, A COWBOY NEVER COMPLAINS AND, NEVER MAKES A FROWN.
AS LONG AS WE STAY RIGHT IN OUR GOOD OLD COWBOY TOWN.
THIS NEXT ONE IS,
"COWBOY UNDEROOS"
ALRIGHT THIS NEXT SONG IS ABOUT A COWBOY BEING AFRAID OF EVERYTHING! THE ONLY WAY HE CAN EVER FEEL SAFE IS TO WEAR IS "COWBOY UNDEROOS!"
HERE ARE THE LYRICS
"COWBOY UNDEROOS"
WRITTEN BY RON GILLIHAN
FROM THE PRO MEDIA C.D. RELEASE
"STAYING REGULAR WITH RON"
1997
[VERSE 1]
WHEN I WAS TWO YEARS OLD, I WAS SCARED OF MY CRIB.
I WAS SCARED OF MY MOTHER, WHEN SHE PUT ON MY BIB.
I WAS SCARED OF MY BOTTLE AND, THE LIQUID IT CONTAINED.
I WAS SCARED OF MY STUFFED ANIMALS, I WAS SCARED OF EVERYTHING.
[CHORUS]
WHAT MAKES ME FEEL SAFE - THE BEST THING MOM COULD DO.
IS THE PANTS THAT NEVER CHAFE - MY COWBOY UNDEROOS.
THE ONLY THING, THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A MAN. IT'S ALL MY MOM WOULD DO.
IS TO SLIP ME IN THE COMFORT, OF MY COWBOY UNDEROOS.
[VERSE 2]
WHEN I WAS TWELVE YEARS OLD, I WAS SCARED OF BIRDS WITH WINGS.
I WAS SCARED OF NIGHT N' DAY. AND, WHEN THE TELEPHONE RINGS.
I WAS SCARED OF MY AUNT BETSY AND, THAT MUSTACHE THAT SHE BRINGS.
I WAS SCARED OF PLAYING BASEBALL. I WAS SCARED OF EVERYTHING.
[CHORUS]
WHAT MAKES ME FEEL SAFE - THE BEST THING MOM COULD DO.
IS THE PANTS THAT NEVER CHAFE - MY COWBOY UNDEROOS.
THE ONLY THING, THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A MAN. IT'S ALL MY MOM WOULD DO.
IS TO SLIP ME IN THE COMFORT, OF MY COWBOY UNDEROOS.
[VERSE 3]
WHEN I WAS TWENTY TWO YEARS OLD, I WAS SCARED OF MY DREAMS.
I WAS SCARED OF ALL THOSE WOMEN AND, THE HEARTACHES THEY CAN BRING.
I WAS SCARED OF GOING ON MY OWN AND, SPROUTING MY OWN WINGS.
I WAS SCARED OF REAL LIFE. I WAS SCARED OF EVERYTHING.
[CHORUS]
WHAT MAKES ME FEEL SAFE - THE BEST THING MOM COULD DO.
IS THE PANTS THAT NEVER CHAFE - MY COWBOY UNDEROOS.
THE ONLY THING, THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A MAN. IT'S ALL MY MOM WOULD DO.
IS TO SLIP ME IN THE COMFORT, OF MY COWBOY UNDEROOS.
[VERSE 4]
WHEN I WAS THIRTY TWO YEARS OLD, I WAS SCARED OF LIFE.
I WAS SCARED OF BILL CLINTON AND, HILARY HIS WIFE.
I WAS SCARED OF MARRIAGE AND, BUYING A DIAMOND RING.
I WAS SCARED OF NUCLEAR WAR. I WAS SCARED OF EVERYTHING.
[CHORUS]
WHAT MAKES ME FEEL SAFE - THE BEST THING MOM COULD DO.
IS THE PANTS THAT NEVER CHAFE - MY COWBOY UNDEROOS.
THE ONLY THING, THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A MAN. IT'S ALL MY MOM WOULD DO.
IS TO SLIP ME IN THE COMFORT, OF MY COWBOY UNDEROOS.
THE LAST SONG IS:
"THAT'S WHEN SHE GOT MAD"
THIS SONG IS ABOUT A WOMAN WHO JUST STOMPS ON EVERYTHING. THERE'S NO ACTUAL WOMAN WHO MADE ME WRITE THIS SONG. IT'S JUST FUNNY THAT'S ALL!
"THAT'S WHEN SHE GOT MAD"
WRITTEN BY RON GILLIHAN
FROM THE PRO MEDIA C.D. RELEASE
"SPACE GAS"
RECORDED IN [2000]
WRITTEN IN [1996]
BEGINNING SKIT ALSO BY "RON GILLIHAN" 1996
[VERSE 1]
WELL, SHE HAD THE BIGGEST THIGHS, I'D EVER SEEN.
AND, IT WAS NO SURPRISE SHE WAS MEAN.
WELL, SHE GRABBED ME BY THE LEG, SNAPPED IT LIKE A TWIG.
THEN PER SEEDED TO STOMP ME INTO THE FLOOR.
WELL, I LAY THERE A BROKEN MAN. HADN'T HAD A THING TO EAT.
I ASKED HER HONEY POLITELY, WILL YOU FIX ME SOMETHING PLEASE?
THAT'S WHEN SHE GOT MAD.
THAT'S WHEN SHE GOT MAD.
THAT'S WHEN SHE GOT MAD.
SHE STARTED STOMPIN' ON EVERYTHING.
SHE STARTED STOMPIN' ALL OVER ME.
SHE STARTED... STOMPIN' -- STOMPIN' -- STOMPIN' ON EVERYTHING...
WELL, SHE STOMPED ON MY STOMACH AND, SHE STOMPED ON MY HEAD.
SHE STOMPED ON MY STEREO, SHE STOMPED ON MY BED.
SHE STOMPED ON MY LEG AND, SHE STOMPED ON MY KNEE.
SHE STOMPED ON MY FURNITURE, AND SHE STOMPED ON ME.
STOMPIN' -- STOMPIN' -- STOMPIN' ALL OVER ME.
OH YEAH!
[VERSE 2]
I REMEMBER WHEN I MET HER.
</font>
A PETITE, SLENDER THING.
I BOUGHT HER SOME FLOWERS AND, A GREAT BIG DIAMOND RING.
I TOLD HER THAT I LOVE HER.
I ASKED HER TO BE MY WIFE.
FOUR HUNDRED POUNDS LATER.
SHE TRIED TO TAKE MY LIFE.
THAT'S WHEN SHE GOT MAD.
THAT'S WHEN SHE GOT MAD.
THAT'S WHEN SHE GOT MAD.
SHE STARTED STOMPIN' ON EVERYTHING.
SHE STARTED STOMPIN' ALL OVER ME.
SHE STARTED... STOMPIN' -- STOMPIN' -- STOMPIN' ON EVERYTHING...
WELL, SHE STOMPED ON MY FACE AND, SHE STOMPED ON MY GROIN.
SHE STOMPED ON MY BASS, SHE STOMPED ON MY LOIN.
SHE STOMPED ON MY TOES AND, SHE STOMPED ON MY CAT.
SHE STOMPED ON MY NOSE, AND SHE STOMPED ON HAT.
SHE STOMPED ON MY EYES, SHE STOMPED ON MY CAPE.
SHE STOMPED ON MY THIGHS AND, SHE STOMPED ON MY TAPES.
SHE STOMPED ON MY BUTT, AND SHE STOMPED ON MY MUTT.
SHE STOMPED ON MY TREE AND, SHE STOMPED ON ME!
SHE STARTED STOMPIN' ON EVERYTHING. YOU SEE,
STOMPIN' ON EVERYTHING.
SHE STARTED... STOMPIN' -- STOMPIN' -- STOMPIN' ON EVERYTHING...
WELL, SHE STOMPED ON MY LIVER AND, SHE STOMPED ON MY HAND.
SHE STOMPED ON MY SLIVER AND, SHE STOMPED ON MY BAND.
SHE STOMPED ON MY BEER AND, SHE STOMPED ON MY SEAT.
SHE STOMPED ON MY MIRROR, AND SHE STOMPED ON FEET.
SHE STOMPED ON MY GIN AND, SHE STOMPED ON MY STAIN.
SHE STOMPED ON MY SHIN AND, SHE STOMPED ON MY BRAIN.
SHE STOMPED ON MY RAKE, AND SHE STOMPED ON MY SNAKE.
SHE STOMPED ON MY TREE AND, SHE STOMPED ON ME!
SHE STARTED STOMPIN' ON EVERYTHING. YOU SEE,
STOMPIN' ON EVERYTHING.
SHE STARTED... STOMPIN' -- STOMPIN' -- STOMPIN' ON EVERYTHING!
OH YEAH...
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