Here is the latest of the not so greatest albums that you NEED to have my opinion on.  You can't live without it.  I apologize if there's less trivial bitching in this one.  Chalk it up to my birthday passing this week or two good friends of mine moving to a new state.  This is a new, cerebral, less prone-to-stick-a-fork-in-your-eye and possibly a more mature Jay.  Okay, that's a lie.  I don't know, maybe these reviews are as snarktastic as usual.  Judge for yourself, but my judgment on most of these craptacular discs still prevail.  Take it.  

Lindsey Buckingham - Under the Skin
After watching the American Hardcore Movie, I don't suppose it's very punk rock to admit that I dig Fleetwood Mac.  The Mac seemed to take a lot of hits from Keith Morris and others in it.  But guess what?  Fuck you and fuck your punk rock too.  Rumors is an awesome album and I love Lindsey Buckingham's guitar playing.  As a matter of fact, I like his singing too.  I wonder if the equivalent of whatever indie rock pokes fun at now will seem classic in 25 years?  Will Fall Out Boy be regarded as a seminal moment in people's musical development one day?  Yarf.  Anyhow back to the MAC, I could've always done without the sappy Christine McVie "You make loving fun" crap, but Nicks and Buckingham brought the goods.  This album is pretty mellow though.  It's mostly acoustic.  Of course, Buckingham playing acoustic is still pretty crazy with some insane picking patters that only an orangutang could probably play.  But all in all, this album just kind of mosies along and never really gets going for me.  Kind of a let down since his "Out of the cradle" solo album from 15 years ago was so good.

Ima Robot - Monument to the Masses
Yeah, I know this is not that new.  It's been sitting in a pile on my desk for months.  This kind of sounds like PiL, the singer has a Johnny Rotten thing happening.  It reminds me of 80s new wave.  Oh crap, the guy just started rapping... badly.  I believe Mr. Horse would say "No Sir, I don't like it."

Gasoline Heart - You Know Who You Are
Well, I like the cover art.  This is produced by Steve Albini.  Not that it helps this, since it isn't like the dude has exactly had any relevant output since producing Nirvana's In Utero.  This sounds very... Gin Blossoms-y to me.  I could actually sing the words to "Hey Jealousy" to some of these songs.  Not that I know them.  I do know the words to "Found Out About You".  Too much information?  Actually this isn't bad.  It also has that kind of Foo Fighter kind of flavor on some songs and its rootsy, kind of like The Band or Bob Seger.  I dig the singer's voice.  Good rasp. 

Criteria - When We Break
This has been sitting on my desk for at least a year.  It's Stephen Pederson's band, formerly of Cursive.  And it sounds like Post Hardcore.  Or maybe more like whatever Emo used to be 10 years ago.    It sounds nothing like Cursive, and it reminds me a bit of Seaweed or something Initial Records-y like King for A Day.  I can't put my finger on who the  vocals conjure up.  Maybe a bit like the guy in Sparta. It's good though.  Salt in Game has a really good riff.

Taylor Hawkins & The Coattail Riders
Taylor Hawkins is the drummer for the Foo Fighters.  He wrote the tunes, plays drums and sings on this.  It's ok for what it is.  Just kind of rockin' rock music which clearly wants you to know that it rocks. It sort of sounds like Foo Fighters at times but with a bit more of a 70's groove like Boston, and Hawkins even sounds pretty similar to Grohl.  I could picture "Louise" even being a Foo song.  I'm surprised he needed the outlet to do this, but maybe Dave Grohl didn't feel that many of these tunes would strong enough to be on a Foo Fighters album.  And hey, I'd agree.

Falling Up - Dawn Escapes
I don't like this.  Kind of emo meets new metal.  I'm sorry.  This is annoying me so I must stop listening to it.

Chris Liebing/Speedy J - Collabs3000
I'm not really sure why I picked this up.  It's some pretty bad electronica.

Black Heart Procession - The Spell
I don't know why, but I believe that Vampires would kind of like this.  It's like goth music without the nonsense, stupid clothing and makeup.  Just dark and brooding.  Really dark and epic.  At times it has elements of surf rock and the Afghan Whigs.  That's just what I'm getting out of it though.   I know that the band has a bunch of albums out, so I can't say I'm certain on how this rates up to their previous work.

The Sleeping - Questions and Answers
I remember seeing a really early Sleeping show when I was filling in on bass for WEIH.  It was really different.  Kind of hardcore with Cave-In like experimental spacey passages.  Then I didn't see them play for awhile and the next time I saw them they sounded like Thursday.  I never heard their first disc, so I don't know how that was.  The singer sounds a bit like the guy from Rise Against here.  I wasn't feeling this until the 3rd tune "Heart Beatz" written in memorium of the kid from Bayside that died a few years ago.  That song reminded me of what the band sounded like when they started out.  It got me more into this album.  On the whole, this disc does kind of sound like big business rock music.  It's not too bad.

Beastie Boys - The Mix-Up
Whoa.  This is really good.  Anyone who liked their instrumental compilation "The In Sound from Way Out" will get into this.   Just alot of funky jammy instrumentals.  It's not just funk though, there are alot of very psychedlic and kind of garage-y kind of tunes.  Really cool and a really different shift from what would be expected from these guys. 

Smashing Pumpkins - Zeitgeist
This album is so heavy I think it ruptured my intestines.  Sure that may not be something that you would normally say in reference to the Smashing Pumpkins... but Billy Corgan evidently decided to leave the electronic music with a serious statement.  I'm not saying that statement is any good.  There are some good tunes.  But I always felt that part of the charm of the Pumpkins first few discs (I still think Adore sucks and I can't remember a damn song from Machina) was that they had heavy songs, ballad-y tunes, and then complete epic 10 minute jams.  There's an epic or two on here, but for the most part, it remains turned up to 11 the whole time and just pumelling you with heavy ass riffs.  James Iha and D'Arcy or Melissa Auf Der Mumu are not back though.  Not that it's a big deal.  Corgan always wrote and played most of their music anyway.  I recommend checking it out if you dig them, but I can't say I love it.

Poison the Well - Versions
Well, who would have ever thought that a Smashing Pumpkins disc would be heavier that a Poison the Well album?  Anyone?  I don't like this as much as their last album.  It's wildly inconsistent.  There are songs that sound alot like Failure, then there are a few that sound like blues and country inspired kind of stuff.  With screaming.  I would put this in the "listened to once and probably won't be listening to again" pile.

Heth & Jed - Between the In and the Out
I see these guys play in Penn Station all of the time.  Usually they have bizarre musical acts in Penn Station to distract you from the fact that your train is going to be late and you're stuck in the city with a fair to good amount of assholes around you who will push you out of the way to make their train which is actually going to be delayed as well.  The acts are usually pretty out there; There's the guy who is always playing the theme from Titanic on the pan flute, the guy who plays the same damn song for 45 minutes on a lucite electric violin, the corpse who plays a polka while he has a bunch of animatronic dolls dance around (that is particularly disturbing), the guy who karokes to old soul music, the pretty good blues guitar player.  I also saw this girl Susan Cagle play a few times with her band as well.  She was pretty decent.  These guys don't fit though.  I've seen them a bunch of times, usually after having a few drinks.  It's just the two of them.  The guitar player would pound out a beat on his acoustic guitar and then loop that, adding maraca or tambourine and looping that as well.  Then they'd start playing these songs with a mass of effects.  It's really cool.  I bought their album last week because I figured for each time I didn't give them a buck and they kept me entertained I should at least pony up the cash and buy a CD. But this album doesn't quite do them justice.  First off it's 2 years old, so the guys definitely have seemed to solidify their style a bit more and their playing is stronger now.  Second, live it's just them, an acoustic guitar, a bass and alot of effects.  The record doesn't have that immediacy.  There's alot of fake drums and overdubs, which I suppose I should have expected.  If you have the opportunity to make an album and make the songs sound the way you want them to, naturally you would do it.  But I think I prefer the sound they get live.  That being said, this album does have some good tracks.  They sound a whole lot like U2, so if you can't get enough of U2's music and would like less of Bono's politics involved then check this out.  And definitely check them out live if you're in Penn Station.

Forget Cassettes - Salt
This has some pretty cool moments.  The girl singing has a pretty soulful voice, she alternates strong crooning which she elevates to all out of screaming.  She's got balls. The music is kind of all over the place. Chaotic, explosive and jarring at times, it reminds me a bit of Trail of Dead.  The song "The Catch" has a really great guitar part to it.  Some of the other tunes crawl along a bit too much for me.  I like me a long song, but sometimes it takes them a bit to get into a song.  But some tunes like "Salt and Syncope" are worth it. 

Clit 45 - 2, 4, 6, 8... we're the kids you love to hate
Clit.  Heh.  This is some pretty crusty punk.  Best thing about this band is that Clit is in their name.  End of review.

Aloha - Some Echoes
ZZzzzzzzzzz.  Huh?  I just woke up during the Casio Keyboard vs. The Jangle-fest.

Fall of Transition - Distractions
I had a bad feeling about this disc when the first person they thanks on the credits is the big man upstairs.  And they have someone individually credited for screaming.  But this actually isn't too bad, it reminds of Copeland mixed a bit with some emo bands that have long since winked out of existence like Penfold, Just For Today and Last Days of August.

Saves the Day - Sound the Alarm
Eh.  I've never liked Saves the Day.  I used to always think they were one of those bands that sounded like 100 other bands that were just tight enough to sound decent, but there wasn't any real solid reason for anyone could give me why I should like them.  Okay, so I haven't heard anything from them in at least 7 or 8 years, so I'll try to keep an open mind.  Looks like Manny from Glassjaw is now part of the band.  The singer still sounds... a bit whiny.  Eh.  I can't say this is bad, it just isn't doing a whole lot for me.

Wativ - Baghdad Music Journal
Wativ actually stands for William A. Thompson the 4th.  Just weird sound collage kind of stuff.

Mike Doughty - Haughty Melodic
I dug Soul Coughing.  Irrestible Bliss was a cool album.  I hadn't listened to it in a long time and Bruce was playing it at his place which made me want to go back and check it out again.  That also made me want to give this a listen, even though it has probably been sitting on my desk for a year or more.  This is still kind of quirky, but has more of a singer-songwriter vibe than Soul Coughing.  "Busting up a Starbucks" has got a good groove, and really who can't relate to that?

Murk - s/t
I don't know why I picked this up.  Bad dance music.  Makes me want to swallow a glow stick.

The Goo Goo Dolls - Let Love In
I freely admit that I like some Goo Goo Dolls songs.  Yeah, yeah.  I know that's lame.  A bunch of tunes on "A Boy Named Goo" were pretty cool, and "Iris" was as about emo as you could get for a band that was a major label rock band.  That said, they hit on a formula and stuck with it since 1995.  They've been writing the same fucking song over and over again.  I think this is the kind of music that is probably geared to people my age (32 as of 7/17/07) known as "adult alternative."  This album is over-the-top commerical, completely accessible, and ultimately pretty tuneful but made by a band that was once an underground alternative band.  Thus "adult alternative."  So maybe you can justify listening to something so lame by saying it's still alternative!  Anyway, it's the Goo Goo Dolls.  You really don't need me to write a review for this.  It's so poppy you'll feel the need to brush your teeth from the sugary nature of the songs. It so pop it reminds me of Air Supply sometimes. I just don't know if this is necessary for anyone to have.  Stick with that "Iris" single.

Anterrabae - And Our Hearts beat in our fingertips, without reason
I remember seeing these kids playing some of their first shows in the latter days of the cotton weary.  I remember thinking they were 16 year olds, and pretty terrible.  They may have thought the same of the cotton weary, except for the age part.  That being said, I'm always interested in seeing when an LI band makes good and puts out a new disc.  Especially when I get it for free.  This is definitely better than whatever I saw 6 or 7 years ago.  Actually, I gotta be honest and say that there is some really great hardcore on this CD.  "It takes More than Metal to Move a Bull" has a good riff and is catchy.  There's a lot of technical and interesting guitar playing with riffs that do tread into the metal terrain, but ultimately makes draws the listener in by giving each song its own character.  The song titles are fantastic as well.  Who names a song "I lifted her dress over her head and unscrewed her leg"?  These guys.  Thumbs up.

Bad Religion - New Maps of Hell
Bad Religion is kind of like Taco Bell.  Really, hear me out.  Everyone loves Taco Bell.  It's great, even if you haven't in awhile you'll still think it's great.  You may not remember what you had last time you were there, but you know it was tasty. Even when they add something new to the menu, it's still pretty much a combination of the same basic ingredients.  You know, like now they have the Chicken Taquito.  It's chicken and cheese in a grilled tortilla.  That's kind of like the chicken quesadilla which is chicken, cheese and a sauce in a grilled tortilla.  That's also like the Fiesta Burrito, also chicken, cheese and a tortilla but add some rice and tomato.  The base ingredients are always going to be the same, even if they throw a little twist in there like a ranchero sauce.  That's Bad Religion for you.  The formula has been pretty much the same for the past 8 or so albums, but they keep providing you with tasty riffs and great singalongs, even if New Maps of Hell tastes a whole lot like that chicken gordita that was Empire Strikes First.  And that's definitely not saying this isn't great, it's just saying that some of this may sound a bit familiar.  The riffs on songs like "Heroes & Martyrs" and the 5/4 feel of "Submission Complete" are memorable and totally cool, but some of the other tunes may not exactly be breaking any new ground.  Although "Honest Goodbye" is a bit slower and definitely stands out.  That may be the 3 cheese blend of this album.  That being said, who cares?  It's BR.  Get me a taco and enjoy this.

The Evens - Get Evens
I hate to say this, because I do love Ian Mackaye, but this is a bit lacking.  This is the "band" with Ian on guitar and his girlfriend Amy on the drums.  This is  more vocal and "singer-songwriter" type of music than any of the riffs and experimentalism of Fugazi.  It just sounds unfinished.  Don't get me wrong, both of their voices are great and Ian definitely shows that even though Guy was the melodic singer in Fugazi, he can do it just as well if not better, but all of the guitar sounds like he plugged in and played everything once without getting a decent sound.  It sounds like a demo.  Maybe that's what they were going for, but the vocals sound polished and the rest sounds rough so it's pretty jarring.  And, oh yeah... there's no bass so I can barely classify this as a band.  I don't know.  It hasn't grown on me.  And I wonder if Ian Mackaye would get pissed if he knew I also have had at least 5 beers before each time I've listened to this.

Joe Lally - There To Here
More from the Ex-Fugazi camp.  One of my favorite Fugazi songs is "By You" which is one of the few Joe Lally sings.  I don't know if I'd dig a whole album of it.  This definitely isn't that.  It's... I'm not sure what to say about this.  You've heard albums where it's just a guy and an acoustic guitar, right?  Well, this is pretty much the same thing but exchange the guitar for a bass.  The title track is cool and has a good groove, but the rest of the tracks seem unfinished in the same way that the Evens are.  What it all boils down to is that Fugazi should get back together.

Ken Andrews - Secrets of the Lost Satellite
Lost Satellite?  Satellite.  Lost.  Someone owes me money.  Bitch.  Anyway, you know when someone who fronts a band, who probably wrote or directed all the music in his band goes on to do a solo album where he plays pretty much everything, and even though he wrote or directed everything in his old band, the result of him doing everything himself is not as satisfying as the old band?  No?  You don't know what I mean?  I guess I was thinking Bob Mould's hubcap album.  It was right after Sugar broke up, and the music is pretty much the same as Sugar would play but it seems to lack from not having some other people give it their touch or influence.  It's the same thing here.  Why wasn't this just a new Year of the Rabbit album?  Some of the songs certainly sound like YOTR, and maybe they could have benefitted from real drums instead of programmed drums.  A lot of the songs are really good, there's lots of layers and it's pretty spacey.  It's not as streamlined as YOTR was, but Ken probably was doing this album more for himself than as a shot to get radio play.

Underoath - Define the Great Line
I heard alot of good things about this album.  I also heard that Fat Mike from NOFX basically made fun of these guys for being so staunchly christian until they dropped off the warped tour.  That's pretty awesome.  I couldn't tell you what they're singing about and I don't care, it's mostly screaming.  And it's pretty boring to me.  "Returning to the Empty Hand" has a part that sounds like This Day Forward... just not as good.  Definitely not good enough hardcore to keep me interested.  These guys need to pray more... for some talent.

Isis + Aerogramme - In the Fishtank 14
This is a pretty cool collaboration between these two bands.  Reminds me of Unwound. 

Ambulance, Ltd - New English 
This is one of those bands that I've never paid for their albums, since they always seem to wind up in the giveaways at work.  I remember liking a few of their discs, but this has a distinct country lilt to it.  Ah, Alt-country another sub-division of music that really should find its way out of existence.  So, that makes me not like it so much.  These guys should get themselves a few 10-gallon hats if they're gonna spring this type of crap on me.  "Fearless" reminds me a little bit of "That's the Way" from Zeppelin.  But this is going back in the giveaway pile.  Sorry fellas.  I decree you suck at life.