am spending xmas with the 'rents and cooling my heels a bit and looking ahead.

this country is simultaneously on the verge of collapse and transformative change. it may take one to catalyse the other...

me, other than seeing friends and family, i don't know why i'm here. it just feels weird after being away for most of the year to return to something so cold and depressed. after seeing so much suffering, so much life, the gamut from monegasque luxury to people living in rubbish heaps, to vibrant colors, flavors, sounds, the world is so huge and yet so small. yet when i come back here, it's the copascetic world of offices and malls and germophobes and internet shut-ins. there are no job opps, and i'm not dedicating my entire next year towards any one thing...

and there's the rub. i want it all. i want to do music. i want to be on a boat. i want to find a home and be around people i care about. i want to work at the turtle farm and make a difference. i want to keep travelling to places i've never been... i know it's nearly impossible, but that doesn't stop me from trying.

but first i gotta find a sublet in new york.

happy holidays. i hope your year was good and your prospects are bright.