I know I love him but lately I feel like I don't know how MUCH I love him and frankly it scares me. Is this where I want to be. Is my life come to a complete stop?

I don't know we talked about how I felt and he looked like he was going to cry, sometimes I feel like I pity him more then I love him. Cause I don't want to see him cry. I feel like the man in the relationship.

Why should I feel that way?

I don't know. He would be lost without me, and frankly I am kindof getting tired of being his Mom and his girlfriend. (metaphorically of course!)

i feel like he is wonderful and someone I should be with, but at the same time...

I feel like I am 30 already and should have a kid.

I don't want him to love me forever and instead of going out there and finding who I really want to be and have a chance to go back to school, to just live comfortably with his undying devotion to me.

As nice as that is, if I wanted a fan club I would have achieved my childhood dream of being a singer.

And frankly I feel like I am just bored of this situation. Living in Texas, the same old thing happening everyday.

I have no friends out here. I have no life, my best friend is a dog and John. I mean, what am I supposed to do.

I miss my friends, hanging out, the spontaneity, the independence, and the overall freedom. Dallas is boring. I wanna live somewhere where there is more open all nite then McDonald's and Burger King.

If he comes with me I don't know that could be good and bad.

I am all up for life experiences. But damn it, texas is proving to be a dud.

All I do is work and come home to him leeching the lifeforce out of me, with is taking everything that could be special in our relationship out of it.

We are past the puppy love stage and he still acts like we started going out yesterday.

I don't know. Am I being too nice? Ugh. I am in such a pickle.