Inspired by the prospective merger between Sirius and XM which would reduce to one (1) the number of companies competing to offer satellite radio to already media-starved Americans, the Deciders have decided to embark on a similar campaign:

We hereby offer to merge with any and all bluegrass bands who currently perform or may in the future perform within the contiguous 48 American states, on the condition that we persuade 100% of such bluegrass bands to join forces with the Deciders.

By eliminating such redundancies as multiple songwriters, bass players, and mailing-list clipboards, we are confident that the New Deciders (as we humbly propose the prospective all-inclusive band be known) will eliminate needless inefficiencies that presently burden bluegrass listeners in myriad ways we need not articulate here. The synergies made possible by a comprehensive merger of bluegrass bands would incentivize low-cost innovation whose benefits would redound principally, if not exclusively, to fans--of traditional American musics and business practices--across the nation.

So what do you say, bluegrass musicians? Are you with us, or are you committed to the mutually suicidal race to the bottom we all currently perpetuate?