before i can open my eyes, i feel this pain, uncontrollable pain. i open my eyes hoping this is a dream. im in a room i dont recall entering, the pain hits me again. am i dead? i dont feel the same. am i someone else? i remember falling; from where? amazingly bad pains are creeping up again. i realize its from my jaw. im walking outside; talking on the phone, i hear a car coming, too close, too close to me. i shake my head, was that me day dreaming or was that real? the doctor comes in to check on me when i start to daydream again. the car was about to run over my foot when i jumped to get out of the way. still i get caught up, caught up to the side of the car.i hold on to the sunroof with my left hand; holding on to my phone with my right. i bang, bang, and bang at the passengers window. the reaction i get is an accelerated car; after 3 blocks i knew i was going to die. i rolled off the car as my phone fell off my hand. i get up, notice my tooth fell out. out of anger i punch a glass door of a store. i snap back into the room; doctor tells me my brother is in the waiting room; sleeping; stressed and worried; he was sent home early from work. i stare into the ceiling. God, what is happening? am i on my death bed? is tomorrow promised? i go home and look into the mirror; angry with what is staring back at me. i take a shower but im too frustrated to stay in; i get dressed in new clothing. i called my friend when my brother walks in on me spitting out blood. he asked what happened; so i explained; he..s telling me to see a doctor but all i can say is im fine. regardless of what i had said he calls. EMS and some cops arrive; cops begin to question me. i lay on my bed thinking; all because of a drunk driver my life will change. they drive me to the hospital where i got x-ray..s and stitches. my mouth was wired the following day; i slowly grow insane; not being able to eat ; not able to find someone to comfort me; nor able to tell people what feelings are trapped inside of me. after my brother left, my mother came to see me; she grew sad watching me as i layed there; wondering how can God take her mother, her husband, her father, an aunt and almost take her son. what sins have she done to deserve this? that same night i came home; still tasting fresh blood in my mouth; bizzare pains, fighting the urge to cry but i wont let myself do that. trying to some a newport to calm down; but it doesnt work; mouth stll numb. for months on end; i could only eat soup with vegetables. ever knew what it was like to watch people eat when you cant cause ya mouth wired shut? i do; worse feeling of hunger and anger. i..d try to sneak food in through my wires when mom wasnt looking. only to realize i couldnt swallow cause of the tube they had going down my throat in surgery caused my throat to swell up close. seeing them eat drove me insane; punching walls; banging my head. mom always told me dont let the driver get the best of you; he failed by killing you. dont let him succeed by taking over your brains and making you loose it and go insane. i will forever be grateful for those words. weeks later i had another surgery; plates put in my chin. they cut my inner gums, 30 stitches to close my gum back up after my plate was put in. endless days; no sleep; wonderin, why me? what do i owe God for keeping me alive? why did he keep me here with my mother? what are your plans for me now, God? not being able to go out for months; having to heal; i couldnt speak; practically a mute; the chiropractor; therapists; dentist; many people who were there for me; keeping me sane; helping me through this. my jaw was broken in 3 places; mouth wired for 3 months, 10 stitches on my chin and a plate; broken knuckles; wrist; leg; neck; back; left elbow and left arm; i have facial pains; non-stop headaches; elbow got all cut up; 2 teeth taken out; 3 surgeries done; 2 more to go. i only ask God to provide me with strength, faith and someone to have a listening ear. give me someone to hold me and say that the days of my wired pain are through. i sit and wait; for my mouth to heal completely and everything else on my body; so when judgement day comes i can stare into the drivers eyes; let him see in mine the pain; suffering; he caused me. that makes him see the eyes of death upon him. no amount of money; time; pain; anything can reflect what i have been through physically; mentally and emotionally these past months. no words in any language can describe these months; but i can tell people i was in that moment. all of this happened for a reason; im stronger mentally; soon physically; i can say, i have been through more than most in my life.
the week of my accident; my mother would picture my father; dreams with him; she said looking at me was like looking at him. sometimescalling me by his name. she believes my father or my grandfather or grandmother were the angels by my side that night; that maybe he was trying to give her a sign. im lucky; i could have been paralyzed; lost my arms; legs or broken my spine. shit could of been worse than it was even thought i had my mouth wired 4days before my birthday i want to thank my family and friends for being there for me; they showed me; when i was down; that they were there for me.
this is a real life story that happened to Justin (messiah juni). the date this event occurred was January 19th, 2006. he told me; aracelis; his story and asked me to put it in a form of poetry; in my eyes no man is stronger than he is. while others would let the madness and anger get to them; he saw a different way of things. God gave him a second chance; one he will use wisely.
WRITTEN BY: ARACELIS.