Well, it's been a while, but I'm back at last. We've had a family Christmas, followed by a short break at Center Parcs, from which we have just returned.

We went with a couple whom Mrs Berry and I have known for many years - in fact Mrs Berry went to school with - well, let's call her Leia. She was pregnant with Brat 2 when Leia married Han, and we've remained close friends ever since.

ON our first night, we decided that it would be nice to go out for a meal, and we picked the curry house. The brats had agreed to try a very mild curry, so we were all quite excited. We got to the restaurant. Yippee! It was half empty. Full of hope and expectation, in we went, only to be told that all the tables were fully booked. This was at just after 6pm, and some weren't going to be used until 7.30 or 8, but "that's the way the system works". And it works the same in all the other restaurants too.

So we decided to book a table for the following night, but were told that we couldn't book at the restaurant. We would have to go to a booking point. Beginning to get a little cheesed off by now, we ordered take out from the Indian and went in search of a booking point while we waited for it to be delivered.

The Welcome Centre and Information Desks are not booking points. When we eventually found one, we asked to book a table at the trendy new restaurant Cafe Rouge.

Can you imagine our disbelief when we were told that Cafe Rouge is the only restaurant which you can't book at the booking point. You can't even ring them. You have to book in person. And we'd been there just a few minutes earlier.

By this point, we were beginning to feel as though we'd landed up in a sitcom. Han and I were looking for the hidden cameras. He walked back to Cafe Rouge to book, while Leia and I stayed at the booking point to book a session of ten pin bowling.

But this wasn't the end of the story. When Han got back, he told us he'd asked to book a table at 6.45. They said they couldn't do that. He would have to book one at 6, but then it would be ours for the entire evening. "So although I don't want the table until 6.45, I can book it for 6 and then not turn up until 6.45?" "That's correct."

We get the distinct impression that Center Parcs is on a downward slide.

Happy New Year!