Spanish, Ontario Easter Friday, enroute to Toronto from Thunder Bay.

The Vance Motel, smack dab in the middle of Nowheresville, North America. Attached was a nice little Pub that was opened until well beyond even Alan's beer quota (pretty late.) They claim that they've never met a REAL band before (how much does a guitar go for in this town...or a frickin gazoo?). After Alan and Ryan suck back about 6 Bourbon shots (David Lee Roth shit is dead guys) a few beers and a half pack of MY smokes (What's the best thing about not smoking, Tiger?) we/I decide we should probably go to bed.

2:38 a.m. there's a knock on our door, "I'll get it." stumble. stumble. "I like you Jay."

"Thanks Ryan." I'm in bed and getting a little grumpy. Ryan opens the door, "Hallo?..who's there?"

From behind the door I saw nothing. It still had the bolt on it, "Hey, what are you guys doin?" They sounded girly and WAY too young to be out on their own. They also didn't speak Spanish, nor even sound remotely exotic.

"Nothin. What r you guys doin?" Ryan seems a little too welcoming for my liking. What can I say? He likes a nice party after a couple beers. Although, he did have both of his eyes closed as he was talking..or rather, yelling. Whatever.

"We're sleeping, Tiger."

"Yeah, we're sleeping. 'Night." Ryan says nothing else and slams the already bolted door behind him and sways back to bed beside me.

"What'd they look like, buddy."

"I dunno, Jay. I don't think I could see." (Hhmm no glasses. Eyes closed. Guess that's reasonable) "I think there were four of them, though. Or two, or somethin." Ryan hits the pillow and falls asleep.

Easter Monday on our way back through

Two doors down from The Vance at a diner/dirty spoon place called The Picnic Basket. It's quaint. I go in for an overdue drain of my bladder. The bathroom has a two-way swinging door for a one stall toilet.

Official Religion ranking of Spanish, Ontario : Thumbs up!

On a related note, the O.P.P. : a big ass Religion thumbs down!! You don't know me O.P.P! Guess you do know Alan now however.