Prince of Midnight
It's getting cold in this northern city, especially at night.

I have the tips of my fingers always frozen as those of a dead. People have been telling me that it's proof of my being not loved.

Rather ironically, I long for attention and I pray to God almost desperately for that someday my hands could be held by someone else's warm hands, my sobs of aloneness into sleepless nights could choke and drown in long-lasting kisses. Though before that day when all these happen I need to play tough and untamable, simple for reasons of survival.

Little did I know that it could have come unexpected as a gift from the heavens: Friday. My prince came at midnight.

He drove all along from far west side of the metropolis through the calmed nocturne of the vast city, and stopped by at the entrance to the mansion. He called, and I only made him wait for half of a second to spit the fresh-fruity-flavored mouthwash to answer.

"Hey."

His voice, beautifully tuned and with magic of tranquilizing my fuss and fury, voice that I've always adored, echoed inside me after so long that all of a sudden I felt tears coming.

"Is yours a portal of similar style to that of the main entrance, with red lanterns and safeguard and all?" He asked, stating precisely all the details I had ever noticed.

"Yes. That one." I was left with no other word to say else than agreement. "Wait, what, you're here already?"

"Yep." He seemed amused by my panicking. "Waiting for you."

"Coming! Right now! In a sec!"

I threw away the phone and began to wrap myself in the Wal-mart-bought over sized sweater and grabbed a tiny pack of Fujiya candies, rushing down through the passage and the dark, narrow stairs for the elevator was too slow to meet my eager of seeing him again.

And there he was, smiling, gently in the way I was never able to forget.

He opened the door, letting me into his fancy vehicle, seated me next to him and handed me a huge box of chocolate tarts. "I have more for you at home. This is just for tonight." He promised next visit and gave an apologetic smile for which my heart began to melt.

"How are you?"

He looked straight into my eyes and asked in a tone as if he already knew the answer.

I could not lie in front of him, nor was I ever able. Yet happy as I was, I have no idea now about what I was talking to him or for what reason I was laughing and purring hard like a petted kitten on its owner's lap.

Memories flashed back when I looked at his barely changed face: intellectual, kind, well-mannered, deliberate, sincere.

I remembered the time I spent miserably locked upstairs to the school garage after coming back to Beijing where SARS had acclaimed life of numerous victims. In the quarantine room I had a bed and a table and nothing else but the absolute, soul-dominating solitude. I was starved, neglected, illy treated and forgotten by the majority of acquaintances.

He was the only one who dared or bothered to visit me. Through the narrow crack on the heavily locked door did my finger touch his, while mine were chilled like ice and his warm and comforting. He was the only one to have expressed care and worry on my person. He said, "You would look even cuter if with some more pounds" instead of the whole world's demand that girls ought to reduce ourselves till we become sets of skeleton. And when he was in charge of the school publication I was offered the chance to do the editing, inspired by which my own "Cliff" came into being...

Now I realize how much I've depend upon his kindness and how I've admired his person, even though he could never be exclusively mine, nor that I ever dared to have such bold desire. No, never.

He has been, and always will be my prince, my savior and hero of all my craziest fantasies. Pity though that I was never a princess.

I stood in the chilling midnight wind, my eyes following his leaving car till it was devoured by the thick darkness. Then I turned back, pacing towards my humble dorm in a sense of loss. The warmth I felt through the sweater when he pettingly placed his hand on my shoulders telling me to take care of myself remained spirit-lifting and I knew I would have a good dream tonight.