I wish you had continued to blog. You put a lot of yourself into it, and "out there" for the rest of us to experience, appreciate and enjoy. There was something special about you, your attitude and your words.

I am angry that you would take those gifts from us through a conscious, willful act of destruction. You vandalised something good, something nice, something worthwhile. I suppose that your body and your life are yours to do with as you please, but it seems a horrible waste to have lost both in this manner. I want to believe that you knew what you were doing, that you truly acted "for the best", but I do not. 

Maybe I am angry because I did not take the time to get to know you better. It was not personal, I am horrible at keeping in touch. You seemed like a person who was really *worth* getting to know, but I did not take the time. I do not think I would have made an impact in this final circumstance, but I can never know, and I would like to have made some difference here. 

When we meet again, I will punch you in the shoulder and demand that you buy the first round. Then I will bring out the pink cupcakes and throw them at you, hopefully smacking a few cherubim in the process and sparking a celestial food-fight. Don't think I won't.