It's been a while now; we keep saying the same things over and over and they never lose their meaning. I like that. It's been so genuine and unapologetic, even at the hands of others, and I like that too. I question my feelings for you always. I hope you understand that I have to, it's my nature to. But then you do something. You catch me stepping back a little and so you only hold me tighter. That's why I love you. You're relentless with your affection. You're kind and trustworthy and honest and respectful, but intelligent enough not to let things slide by you. So I'm leaving you soon for a bit of time, and I keep hearing about old friends who are on the way to getting married, and I think about the conversations we've had about that subject too, how silly it seems, but how it's not completely unheard of, especially for us. And I haven't been able to say this, who knows if I ever will, but I want you to know that I do REALLY love you, despite how much I may pull away, I love you with all of my heart and you are the most amazing man I've ever met. So if you read this, just know it, and know that when you sleep next to me at night, when you think I'm asleep and you look at me and smile, I know you are smiling, and I wait for you to close your eyes so I can look at you and smile too.