Due to the ridiculously out-of-date-ness of my profile, I think I should clarify at least one of the glaring errors. The Rev Brigade is dead. Not even still-warm dead, we're talking cold rigor with maggots crawling out from where the eyes used to be dead. And a junkie has fingered the corpse in the bunghole. And peed on it.

Thus, I retire almost a full hour's work from my Myspace profile, the ironic emo-heart taking on a deeper meaning, as I consign the Rev Brigade to memory, living on only in my <3 and mind.





And yet this small sacrifice seems to pale in comparison to those made by the internet profile site proletariat. I'm not referring to the breakdown of friendship, culminating in the sacrifice of one's pint of beer over the head of a soon-to-be-former friend, instead referring to the veritable abandonment of Myspace in favour of lesser websites. Yes – the curse of Bebo.

Before I actually begin, I may as well admit that although I don't like Bebo, I do use it. Just not very efficiently. Also, Bebo is not the only site to detract from my beloved Myspace, with its user-friendly blog scene, it's simply the only website of its nature that I've bothered to look into.

I think the main reason I hate Bebo is the original stigma with which it was associated: the crappy Teletubbiesque name; the numerous chain emails forcing me to join sent from others who had been ensnared; the guilt of sending those same emails on joining; and the fact that it looks a bit shit.

Also, depressingly, it's taken one of Myspace's big drawbacks – the private profiles of one's enemies – to a new level. Not only does Bebo seem to have a higher number of members whom I know (and genuinely dislike) and wish to collect and store information on, but a higher concentration of them lead me no further than the flippant "No can do" message when I try to rape their profiles with my eyes (and occasionally ears, very occasionally).

Bebo also has a blog feature, but it doesn't have any of the pomp and ceremony of Myspace. One does not access a different page with new, exciting colours to look at while reading a 1,000 word essay on TV shows I'd produce if I had the money and guts, or my flakey, contradictory political beliefs. Instead, the blogs almost always consist of Myspace style quizzes about the colour of one's pants and what is contained within them. The pomp and ceremony of hitting a specific blog button is all but obliterated, with the blog immediately appearing on the user's page.

I think I should end this Bebo/Myspace conflict and compare session before I garner any serious passion about internet culture. My point is that Bebo is a load of arse. Stick with Myspace and promote real, hard journoblogging, none of this Bebo nonsense. Okay, the genuine passion is here, I'm getting angry at the name again…

Moving On.

Often, people will tell me to blog a certain event (normally an elaborate, otherwise unfunny in-joke which would be slow and painful to write, not to mention confusing and agonising to read), and for the parenthesised reasons, I never have. I find the requests quite strange in their nature, since my blogs don't normally consist of actual events per se, more a development of my own thoughts and ideas with everything other than the metaphysical acting as no more than ambiant background music.

However, one recent request caught my attention: a blog-off. Surely anything ending in "-off," spilling out of the mouth of a drunk can't be bad. It's never damaged me in the past. Anyway, the point is that my respected fellow blogger Ginger Chris and I have been challenged by a mutual friend to this no-holds-barred keyboard-mash to the death. The no-holds barred part is our only problem. Our mutual (drunken) friend didn't actually specify any rules. Now I don't know about Chris, but I personally require some kind of structure to form my ideas around. Any ideas would be welcomed, just post the buggers in the comment box below. And give me the max amount of kudos you can. And read my other blogs. And comment them too. And recommend me to your friends. LOVE MEEEEEE!!!!!!!

On a related note (relating to the drunkenness hinted at in the past couple of paragraphs), I highly suggest that you try Jacques Fruit Cider. It seems to be going cheap in many places, and is frankly the most wonderful drink ever created. I don't actually feel that I should have to sell it to you – the fact that Jacques Fruit Cider was mentioned in this blog should be reason enough to buy it. And if (on the off-chance) my personal seal of approval isn't enough (I mean come on, look how pretentious and literate I am today!), the link above has some really in depth reviews, such as "Summary: A nice fruity cider." Way to judge a bottle by its cover, dude.

Oh, if only the Rev Brigade was alive to see Jacques Fruit Cider - it would go so well with Kim's hair and Martin's sexual preference…