1. I have noticed that as of late, I fall asleep with a HUUUUGE smile on my face. I mean I'll be laying there in bed and then suddenly realize that I've got this giant ear-to-ear grin on my face - teeth showing and all. I know that sounds freaky, but I kinda like to equate it to the fat cat that eats a canary right before he takes a catnap... anyhow, I found it amusing... strange, but positive.

2. I have been cycling every weekday this month. I usually walk Bootsy after the sun sets (remember, he has solar cancer?) for 3 miles... Then I take a break, eat something nice, and ride my bike for 5 miles... usually to and from the Blockbuster since I'm a movie freak. It has been soooo good on the soul, and healthy for the heart and lungs. Getting rid of the whiskey gut (haha) and getting in better shape for Maui with Kitty in May - a muuuuch needed vacation!

3. I had two nightmares the other night that scared the hell out of me. The first was me in the front yard at dusk. no one in the house. Oh, and it wasn't my house - only in the dream, it was... Anyhow, I hear a large jet from far away - and that screaming engine noise is getting closer and closer - louder and LOUDER... until finally I am backed up against the porch and looking up at where the Jumbo Jet is right above the house and about to crash right in our driveway. I have just enough time to run inside and warn everyone (when a second ago - there was no one there), and while we are all expecting a HUGE explosion or loud blast, there is none of that... instead there's just this eerie wreckage everywhere and people are walking off of the plane on their own... Everybody made it.

The second dream: I don't remember much, and I am not sure I want to - but I was talking to a priest and to my dad and they were asking me a bunch of questions about shitty things I've done in the past - both to them, and to others... and when they asked me why I did the things I'd done, I simply replied, "because I'm the Devil..." and I remember how wrong it felt saying that - but at the same time, I got this scary rush of endorphins in my brain - I felt like I was falling, and yet at the same time, I felt totally high - relieved for some reason.... I could go deeper into this one, but meh.... It was just creepy. I woke up shortly thereafter and shook it off.... the dream, that is.

3. I plan on spending the summer on the water. In fact, I don't really care to do shit this summer but travel with Kitty (break in those passports), fish the high seas, shop for dumb shit, and put together a live band and just jam... that 'feel good summer' type of feeling, remember those? I need one... Where the weather is hot as hell and there's Kool-Aid in the fridge, dollars in my pocket, and gas in my gas tank (knock on wood)...

4. One of our neighbors at the condos we live at is a psycho. She's yelled at me on more than one occasion for something as normal as talking on my cellphone while outside (passing by her door at like 7pm)... This doesn't happen with anyone else I assure you, but you see - when I see her outside - I immediately and almost instinctively under my breath (and sometimes just enough so she can make out a few choice words) say something to the effect of "you fucking ugly fat bitch". I know it's wrong but this is just one of those rare instances where I don't care. I've been nothing but kind to her and her husband - even bought their screaming baby diapers when I would go to the store, just for the fuck of it - to be a good neighbor... but it's at the point where they totally take the kindness for weakness. So yeah, cuss her out I will.

5. I play out a big trip to Las Vegas in my head, almost every few days it seems. While it passes quickly, it is still both an invigorating fantasy as well as completely unnerving... It starts with me reserving a room. Drinking heavily at the airport bar. Jumping on a plane (I am not a fan of airplanes) for that 45 minute flight to one of my favorite towns. Getting there. Checking into my room. Drinking more. Then immediately being immersed into the casino culture. The beautiful reds and blacks and whites and pinks at the tables. All those sounds coming from the slot machines. People looking completely twisted on margaritas bigger than their bloated heads. Gorgeous layouts and the beautiful decor at the Wynn, the buffet at the Bellagio (can you say holy lamb kabobs?), the sports book at Caesar's, and the disgusting debauchery and drugstore gambling at Bill's (formerly Barbary Coast)....

Then I think about how far I've come (81 days today), and all that I have to be thankful for. How much better I feel. How much fun I have with Kitty everyday. All the fun things we have planned. All the fish out there waiting to be pulled on. All those songs that need to be cranked up and dialed in... and I kick the little mouse with the suitcase and helmet that's tugging at my pant leg over to the side with my foot yet once again.............