Hello:

I would feel more comfortable being able to write about my "comeback" tournament and to subsequently pass it off as "I wrestled like crap." Unfortunately, that is only part of the case.

I was thoroughly and decisively beaten this weekend at the NYAC Holiday Open. It was a very tenuous, exciting, and humbling experience. The calibre of wrestlers that I was priveleged enough to compete with and against was truly astounding. Many terrific wrestlers from literally around the world competed, in what is this, an "Olympic Year." I have felt in the past year that it was time to concentrate on the sport of Greco-Roman wrestling basically full-time, while still adhering to my other activities in the realm of combat sports. I decided, while I climb into the latter years of my "twenties", that now is the time to really put my abilities and desires to the test.

In order to prepare myself for competition over the past 4+ months, I engaged myself in a routine and focus that I haven't had in quite some time. Through trial-and-error, dedication, and the desire to compete, I strongly concentrated on the elements of conditioning that I felt were crucial for this sport. I studied, I learned, I drilled, and I put myself through intensive workouts in order to acclimate myself for the fiercest brand of competition available. I have also been lucky enough to have been able to train with some very special people whose undying belief in me made this possible to even comprehend.

I do not have any excuses. With God's understanding hand, I have for the first time in a long time (if not ever) was able to remain in very good condition breathing wise, and that has been a gift only those close to me would appreciate how special that truly is. And the fact that I competed with the amount of energy and capability that I bought onto the mat is a testament to my faith and hard work. And that is the most important gift I take from all of this.

For those who have wondered in support if my rib-intercostal injury played any part whatsoever in my performance, I would answer with an emphatic NO. While it is true that the injury slowed me down and cut back a large part of my training, I have been without serious pain the last couple of weeks, and it certainly was not a factor in the tournament. Bluntly put, I was "outclassed." Not out-muscled, out-hustled, or slow, just not on the same level. Greco-Roman wrestling is a SPORT with rules, procedure, and a skill-set that is very unique to its own existence, and plain and simple, I was not prepared for what I was set to face. That is no one's fault. To go after what you want, you have to do the very best to put yourself in position to reach it, and that is perhaps where I fell short. The sport itself is different in the way it is wrestled and adjusted as opposed to the last time I competed. But then again, the competition level I faced previously was not nearly as high as the level I faced early yesterday.

I do believe in my ability, and always will. I felt extremely comfortable and "at home" on the mat, and was thrilled to be there. I was delighted with the physicality of the contact, and with more experience and practice at this level, I still believe I can be successful. In order to do so, I will have to adjust my training and preparation methods, and find other avenues of competition to hurl myself in. At the same time, I do have other "life goals" currently that are perhaps of a more proritive substance, and it is crucial for me to do what I can to attain them before I can say for sure where I am to go from here competitively.

Presently speaking, I am still going to be going after the things in life that I need to, while taking a step back over the next few days to reflect on this experience. This was a big deal to me in an awful lot of ways, and make no mistake about it, I am hurt and disappointed over the results. The positives I take from it though are lasting, and I learned a little about myself and the sport that I hope to take with me as I move forward.

I'd like to thank God for his grace and presence in my life, and for having blessed me with the ability to be myself and for giving me His love and the chance to compete. I would like to thank both of my brothers Lee and Keith for just simply believing in me and staying with me through all of this, and to all the people that have passed through the doors of the Inner Circle Wrestling Academy. I'd like to thank Thomas Velasquez and Eddy Rolon of Team Endgame, whom although are not wrestlers, have been great enough to let me use their bodies in the practice room. Danielle Hobeika for all of the encouragement, help, and words of wisdom that have made all of this way more easier than it could have possibly been. "The Monster" Kevin Randleman for the awesome words and for being an inspiration for me during what has been a tough time for himself. Mr. Charlie Moss for his interest, support, and inquiries into my training. Nate Engel for the just sound and steady advice as I got to know him (and just a little bit more recently!) and really has it to be one of the best wrestlers around. Steve Maciosi, my friend and training advisor at Retro Fitness. My Maureen, most of all, for her strict belief that I am capable of great things (even though I sometimes beg to differ), and for putting up with me and being my strength and angel through what has been an awfully tense and crazy time in my life. I'd also just like to thank everyone I have trained with and been around over the last few months that have been behind me in all of this, and for just allowing me the honor of making an impression. Thank you.