BECOMING A REBORN HUMAN.

Drip, Drip, Drip.

The last of the red blood cells emptied into the life lines connected to the chest of Shash. This was his last day in the hospital and his last blood transfusion was being administered. Shash lay there with his blankets pulled over his head and his mind recalling the many occurrences and visions experienced over the past several months since his initial leukemia ordeal. The last of the lines with fused skin became fixtures in his chest and they were finally being taken out.

Months and months of various medications passed thru the lines. When there were no days of use there was a regiment of daily maintenance to keep the lines clear. Western medicine was allowed to mend his body while his spiritual soul traveled and transformed to levels not previously experienced. The pump began beeping to sound the last of the blood cells passing to empty the bag.

As Shash uncovered, he became immediately excited because in front of him was the silver-haired nurse he had not seen since the beginning of his experience. He wondered if would be able to give her thanks because he had not seen her since the beginning of his hospital stay. The silver-haired nurse was one of the gentler ones who would listen to what Shash was experiencing in his visions as they occurred. She also passed on the message for him to the family of the passing grandmother.

The silver-haired nurse spoke to Shash about a grandmother taken off of life-support because her cancer was in its last stages. She could not say who the grandmother was for privacy regulations by the hospital. The family had gotten very concerned about making the right decision because two days had already passed and the grandmother was hanging on in a coma. In Shash's vision of her, he asked the silver-haired nurse to pass on a spiritual message he had gotten and the message was, "She was concerned for her grandchildren and wanted to know if they would be taken care of."

The silver-haired nurse passed on the message to the family and they acknowledged it in the presence of the grandmother in a coma. Later that night, Shash was awakened by the image of an elderly woman in a transition between worlds. He sensed it was the grandmother because she still seemed to have some concern for her grandchildren. Apparently she could see Shash's image because she made a gesture of reacting to something of which she was not familiar. Shash quickly sensed this and cognitively thought of appearing to her with something she was familiar with. Her spirit sense became calm and collected, but not sure of what to do.

Shash could see the intensely luminous passageway she was to take to start her journey. He told her the family would take good care of her grandchildren and it was time for her to move on. Shash slowly moved toward her and guided her into her passageway until he could see other ethereal entities waiting for her at the other end of the wavering spatial dimension. Shash quickly darted out of her passageway and the other entities led her the rest of the way. Then the bridge between dimensions closed and Shash could feel the jolt as he briskly reentered his own body. He was very calm about what he had sensed and drifted back to sleep.

The next day the silver-haired nurse came in to tell Shash the grandmother had passed on in the night and Shash told her what he had experienced from her passing. The silver-haired nurse was very relieved to hear her patient's journey was a good one. This was the last time Shash remembered seeing the silver-haired nurse because his own body was deteriorating from the cancer. His own worlds were unfolding and this reality became a distant thought.

Amazingly, this was his last day and the silver-haired nurse was the kind person to take the last lines out. Shash spoke to her about missing her those past months and tried hard to see her nametag because he could not remember her name. Shash was familiar with her soul essence. For some reason, he could not see the name on her nametag and he finally asked for her name. All she said was, "she is only a grandmother." Shash accepted it as a good thing and they said farewell as Shash left the hospital.

Shash was finally disconnected from western medicine and now seemed to have many things to relearn in this reality. Many things had a different sense, as if he was returning to visit a distant land. Experiencing leukemia was interesting, but the illnesses incurred after the treatments started were an interesting tradeoff. The side affects included viral and bacterial pneumonias, intestinal bacteria's and viruses, fungus and viruses in the lungs, dialysis from kidney failures, and a few other illnesses for which he could not remember the medical terms. Pretty much all the internal organs got wiped and rebooted. This is a more common experience when western medicine is involved--trading one illness for another. Shash did not concern himself with the severities as his spiritual mind saw further than what his material body could handle.

His mind was very different and this world seemed strange in many ways. Many things were the same, but he couldn't see it without sensing the many other worlds he had experienced. The new experiences had changed many things he had previously believed and practiced. The expanding realties had very obscured boundaries and he no longer could see the boundaries between realities. Yet, it was still the beginning of things to come. He was in many ways relearning to be human. Shash had experienced beyond the current linear realm and could not accept things as before without sensing the many directions of any given moment.

Shash went home to recover and things were very slow in his surroundings. His earthly home seemed to be a familiar portal as if he was at a stopping place during his spiritual travels--a place where his awareness entered into a slot of linear time and its presence distinctive in existence. In a few weeks Shash was to facilitate sweat lodges during the Memorial Day weekend. This was to be with a large community of over a 1000 strong gathering for a camping retreat on a wooded 168-acre of private land. Shash took his time when arriving on the land to prepare his sweat lodge site. He was methodical in his motions as if balancing himself between various realities, but there to do healings for a community that practiced a wide variety of beliefs.

Shash set up his campsite and moved to the opposite end of the land where the sweat lodge site was to be. It sat on the southwest edge of a beautiful 12-acre lake surrounded with nature's splendor. Shash felt very calm with the location and enjoyed the wooded land whenever he came to visit this place. He began his three-day cleansing and preparing the site for spiritual use. It very much coincided with his slower sense of movement as the days of preparation progressed. On the third day he sat with his traditional pipe beside the sweat lodge fire pit. Very serene with nature. Shash looked out over the lake and could see numerous snakes begin to float on the surface. Slowly more began to surface and floated with their lengthened dark slender bodies stretched out and moving with the calming ripple of the lake water. They were water moccasins that appeared to be slumbering on the surface of the lake.

Shash silently watched and meditated as the serpents continued to surface. Their bodies in unison with each other. As the moments went by, there appeared to be several hundred water moccasins silently dormant side by side. They filled the surface of the lake water toward the marshy area. It brought unison to natures realms and peace in the air whirling around the sweat lodge site in surrealistic breezes. Shash had never seen so many snakes in one place and it was very serene in his spiritual mind.

He heard a rustling noise next to him and a very young rabbit hopped out of the bushes next to him. Shash watched the young rabbit playfully hop over to the rock pit where the sweat lodge would be and sat in the middle of the pit. This told Shash the sweat lodge site was ready to be used for the community. Shash finished his traditional pipe. All the serpent's magickally disappeared from the water surface and the young rabbit hopped back into the bush.

The sweat lodge frame was put together with willow branches and the fire pit prepared with wood to heat up the grandfather rocks. There was a tipi being set up near the sweat lodge site by two women staying for the weekend festivities. They were a welcome sight adding to the essence of the traditional atmosphere. The sweat lodge was considered the womb of mother earth and all the natural elements took part in this ceremony for healing the community attending. The festivities in the main camping area began. The seeking souls arrived and Shash began his commitment of facilitating the sweat lodges for the Memorial Day weekend.

The sweat lodge ceremonies were very fulfilling for Shash because he needed the ceremonies as much as those attending. He also was very attentive with their purpose in this ceremony. Many came for various reasons and Shash only knew of their worlds and healings incurred by their words of appreciation and changes of healing. Shash accepted all of them and kept his mind with those who were around him for things they were seeking. After the third session Shash went to rest at his campsite and there was plenty of activity around him.

He sat for a moment and closed his eyes. Shash attempted to get up to lay down, but noticed he could not move. He made several attempts to move, but could not do so or even open is eyes. He could hear all the activity around him, but his body seemed to be catatonic. Shash graciously listened to the festive community for a few hours and then he began to have movement in his fingers. Then the rest of his body was able to move. Shash slowly got up and felt very sublime. He moved back to the sweat lodge site where he continued with the sweat lodge ceremonies. Many good things occurred to those who attended and that was all that mattered to Shash.

It was nearly midnight before Shash was done for the day and as everyone left, Shash could again feel his own physical exhaustion. Barely able to move, the two women from the tipi invited him to stay in their tipi for the night. His mind was in a surreal state of being and he visioned a prophetic moment of a weary traveler passing through time and space. The feminine energy mystically sheltered his surroundings and gave him a place to rest before he continued on his journey. The feminine entities cleared a place for him to rest and as soon as he laid down he was in his other dream worlds. For some ethereal sense, Shash could sense the many water moccasins resting next to him outside the tipi canvas. He felt very peaceful with this because this was the energy of nature--a reality where he existed.

Shash got up early the next morning and thanked the two women of kindness. He prepared for the next sweat lodge ceremony, which was even more crowded than the last. Good things were being said about the experiences of the community. By the time the weekend was over Shash had facilitated five sweat lodge ceremonies and he was very grateful for being allowed the moments of healing for the community. Shash prepared to dismantle the sweat lodge sit and looked down at his chest.

He noticed the wounds from the lines recently removed from his chest were gone. They had healed and the only marks visible were those received from his Sundance piercings. Shash gently and flowingly floated away from the sweat lodge site for one last time and noticed the young rabbit hop out of the bushes, again. The young gentle rabbit hopped to the center of where womb was placed. Shash quietly thanked the young rabbit, the water moccasins, nature and the land for allowing the ceremonies and his own healing.

After a short rest Shash traveled to see his Sundance Chief at a Pueblo in New Mexico. Shash counseled with his Sundance Chief on his experiences. Another sweat lodge was arranged for Shash, but this time his Sundance Chief would facilitate. It was a clear summer night on the Pueblo and others came to participate in this sweat lodge ceremony. Those attending quietly entered the sweat lodge and Shash's spiritual mind had opened up as the sweat lodge ceremony began. A throbbing gradually began increasing throughout his body. Shash layed down in the womb as everything around him began to move and the throbbing became intense.

Suddenly his dimension of souls vision engulfed him. Shash immediately recognized it and it was like a continuation of his leukemia experience. He moved through the dark space as the brilliantly bluish-white light reflected off the souls as he passed through their realm. Shash could hear the singing and praying of the participants as the ceremony continued. But he was in another place and his body felt pinned to the ground with the heavy dense throbbing. Intense sharp pains bolted from his chest and in his vision a bright beam of light erupted out of his chest and projected toward an infinite location in front of him. The beam of light emitting from his chest began expanding wider and wider.

During the same moment, Shash could hear loud pounding on the sweat lodge surface, crackling and the rolling thunder of the Thunder Beings. The surrounding energy was very active and as the path grew wider, Shash could see some of the entities passing through the perimeters of darkness into the lighted path. They were transforming their dark energy into spheres of light and traveling down the lighted path to infinity. This was another continuing level Shash had not previously experienced and Shash was overwhelmed with the energies this was expounding.

The ceremony was nearing its end and Shash began attempting to close this opened dimension. He felt he had to do something to close this opening between worlds and continued by moving his hands over his body until the visions gradually diminished. This was a gradual transition and Shash sensed he could not rush it. The sounds outside the sweat lodge grew quiet and as the ceremony ended, the participants calmly exited. Shash shortly thereafter came out once he felt things were put back the way they should be. It was wet outside as if it had just rained, but the sky was clear. Shash was very humble by what he just experienced and thanked the natural energies of life for allowing him to see and further experience existence.

It was a very peaceful night and the next day Shash prepared for the last Sundance he was to attend. Shash had already started getting his spiritual messages about this as his last one and accepted it. Things were very different with his visions and the beliefs changed with experiences of more. The Sundance ceremony grew closer and the energy this ceremony culminates, elevated. Shash was informing his Sundance Chief of the changes he was experiencing and the differentials between himself and the other dancers. Things were enhanced and in his physical body Shash could still feel the weakness. But his strength was there as long as he stayed in his spiritual mind.

The last Sundance of Shash had begun and he could see the broad streams of energy on the grounds of the Sundance arbor. They were like light energy beams coming out of the ground and pulsing skyward and splitting different directions as they gained elevation. The energy streams were continuous throughout the four-day ceremony. Shash could feel some form of separation of his spiritual soul from his physical body as the Sundance ceremony continued and it seemed to make him feel weaker. Shash had to take a rest for a day during the ceremony because he could feel his inner world in turmoil.

The third day of the Sundance ceremony and it was his turn for the ceremonial piercings. Shash's physical body was weak, but it did not matter because he was there for the community. Two 3-inch wooden pegs were pierced in his back and ropes were tied to them. The other end of the rope was seven buffalo skulls he was to pull around the arbor four times. This is when Shash felt a spiritual energy return and transformed into strength for his physical body.

Shash began the journey of pulling the seven buffalo skulls and he could feel the pain exerting from the physical body, but it was the higher sense of where he was drawing energy thru the ceremony. During the second time around the arbor the ground began to heat up. The energy beams were bolstering. This had not occurred during the previously days. The heat escalated and his feet began burning. It got hotter and hotter as Shash continued to pull the seven buffalo skulls around the arbor. It was very draining and it got to where Shash could barely stand.

The last two rounds, two fellow Sun dancers assisted Shash, but they were also having a hard time standing because the ground became too hot to stand on and they were struggling. All the dancers began to feel it and did what they could to stand, but it got too hot and they all began to feel their feet blistering.

The energy was intense, but Shash's spiritual mind plowed on. The tribal community began gathering their moccasins and passed them to the Sun dancers. The fourth round was done and Shash was pulled from the seven buffalo skulls with the children of the community sitting on the seven buffalo skulls. His part of the ceremony was done. The rest of the day the ceremony went on in a better way for all. All the moccasins were returned to the community and the rest of the ceremony continued for the healing of the community.

When the Sundance ceremony was over, the blistered feet of the dancers were also healed. It was a good ceremony and as it ended, Shash could feel his path moving in a different direction. He continued to get messages of separation from what he knew. They continued as the moment went on. He felt sad because this was his last Sundance and he sensed he would not be able to visit again. It was not his desire, but the way other energies were moving around him. Shortly afterwards, Shash returned his traditional pipe to his Sundance Chief. He felt it was his way of preserving tradition as he had previously known it. His Sundance Chief was aware of his writings and was ok with it. This was all that matters to Shash.