I don't know.. a guy once told me he's afraid to open a door for a women in case she takes it the wrong way.  Could equality have just taken away some of the simple things we actually wanted?  It's Friday - my brain was switched off at lunchtime - that's the best I can do lol

DJ Fiddle I couldn't agree with you more. Being a strong, independent women is far from a bad thing, but sometimes we have to let our guard down.

Teedra, you better preach up in here. The other day on the bus this drunk white dude got all up my personal space and I commenced to cussin him out while a brotha sat right across from us and didn't do or say nothing as the situation escalated. I was more mad at the brotha for sitting there and doing nothing than I was at the drunk fool. When did men become scared to be men? 

You know you need to write a song about this topic, right?!

I don't think that the women who date these losers get a kick out of being treated like shit I think it's more of they don't want to wait around for the real man because who knows how long that could take. That's not what I do, I remain single until someone treats me the way I like to be treated but I know alot of women who would rather put up with all the bullshit than to be by themselves. I also see a lot of decent men chasing behind these women that are no good as well when there's a good woman right in front of them also so what is the good woman to do when the good man looks past her? Should she stay alone waiting for the crazy woman to ruin what was once a decent man, or should she try to make the best out of her own situation?

That is some real shit....me and my boys call what is goin on the systematic emasculinization of the American man.  There is a tangible push to turn American men into.....bitches!!  Check the TV commercials that come on now.  Facial goop (regenerator or something) for men??  WTF?  I could go on forever.  Check out the media but mostly TV.  Men are being made dossile and weak.  Why??  Controlability?  Not sure.

...anyway, let me get off my soapbox.  Im feelin you.  Much love and success to you Teedra.

IAm

Teedra, Chyle, you are on it these last couple of blog and you couldn't have put it in any better terms! Men are definitely on some new stuff. I was just talking about this with my co-workers, it's a hot mess how we as women have to address  this uproar of men who are fake. Most think that this thing called life is a huge game. Most men are modeling themselves after those that they see living the glam life and wanna be just that; however that is not the case. Don't get me wrong , a little of the blame can be placed on women as well. We must definitely rise the level of self-esteem in these women who have the "anything goes" standard. When will we learn that individuals will do only what they're allowed to do!! We must set up the standards and not be so willing to settle as if we wait, our "Mr. Wonderful" will find us! Remember it states this in the Bible, " he that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing!" Trust he's coming ladies, we just gotta be patience!!

Much Luv,
K

You have a lot on your mind this week! LOL  I don't know if my opinion counts since i'm married.  However I will add my two cents anyway.  I think women are partially to blame.  If a female feels that she can catch a man with what's in between her legs then why should a man court her?  That only makes it more difficult for women with substance.  Not all women are like this but from what I have seen, enough are.

I think it's because the respect for women has been lost! I say that because women is starting to settle for less! and they think they can everything by themselves. i know Beyonce' made independant woman which was a good song but women do need a strong man! i know the majority of men ain't shit but there are good ones out there, but it seems like being a good man is NEVER enough for women these days! and thats one reason i think that there are alot of fake people out here. i would love to vent on here but i will save some space for someone else but thats only a small part of my thougths though!

Teedra im starting to feel the same way even though im young i still want that one specialnigga just to chase me and show me he really cares. i don't wanna be worried about  the competion out there. just like u say in ur song "Cuz baby if we strugglin i'll ride wit u till we rise". I think most  guys just don't wanna put in work.

I knew I liked you 4 some reason lol 'cuz I'm feeling ya on this one my gurl! I'm for "old-fashioned" type lovin as well.  As women we ARE supposed to be taken care of and catered to by our men, b/c somebody done told these millennium niggas WRONG!! (I also believe that we shouldn't just date to be dating, but have in the back of our minds MARRIAGE :), so I'm using the wifey/husband scenario) Wives are to be submissive (& submissiveness is what every woman REALLY wants JUST as long as we know we can use this to get our way in the long run, HEEEEEEY! lol) to their husbands AFTER we are revered as queens. I know I'm just 18, but ladies like ourselves, or even w/ similar viewpoints, should just keep being the BADDEST & REALEST females around, until we are blessed with Mr.Just Right, and he is of course blessed with us!!       I just pray I ain't dusty by the time he gets here...lol

wow i really like you l0L .. i always knew i could relate to alot of your songs, even though im so young but i see so much truth and what your saying. i can tell you're real, and i respect that you share this stuff with fans. woman are losing respect for themselves and men are not men any more. there males, which is defined by gendar, the definition of a man is so complex and not half of the men i see in today's world are real MEN. "we're worth waiting for" - i appreciate and i agree with your opinion - you're a beautiful person and extremely talented artist.

- macy ♥

giiirrrlllll.... this is another one...

I know exactly what u r talking about... Play your role. Listen, I'm trying to understand what's going on myself... Wtf really happened to those cats that made it their business to make a woman feel like a queen? Express how they feel and be real with themselves and they're girl? I know what I want in a man and I know what I have to offer. So, with that said I agree w/ what you're saying and I feel the same exact way. Everyone's chasin the paper, sex, matirialistic shit, and not appreciating the simplicity of love, life, and happiness. Some individuals lack self love... they don't even know. Some of us grew up lackin that figure in the household. The strong man holding shit down or the strong woman keepin the family together. It's sad. I know I'm gonna do me and make sure my home is a castle and my daughter will learn from me... her self worth and what should be important.

For someone to come into my life and truly rescue meeee!!!

Baby if you're out there holla back!!!

lol - love u Tee!!

**Ro**

I agree with what you said but I also feel that we lack the sense of reality to know that these problems exist. If over a million people watched Flavor of Love, it proves the state of emergency that we are in. Now I'm not dissing entertainment, I aspire to be a producer and want to get in entertainment but I do have problems when a nation mirrors the entertainment we love. Black men today have fallen victim to history and I'm not speaking slavery, I'm speaking on the fact that a lot of black men today aren't using or aren't given the resources to know that treating our women as well as our elders and most importantly our self is the system of our survival. Regrettably, we are falling back into a world of miseducation. A long time ago, we said the system was pulling us back but now its us. We got Hip-Hop Beefs, we got people out here redefining n----a and it seems to me that we are all confused. Is it because we lack mothers and fathers, proper education, the will to see a future Or is it that we expect that we are going to make history by just not reaching out to change ourselves. The black woman is the rock. Its a shame to see that most, not all, of our women are lost in the world of settling with whatever comes around. But then its even worse when a huge majority of blackw women will do whatever it takes to be seen and don't care if they got to be a ho to get there. Who's driving the car. Who trusts who. This is worst than a horror movie if you think about it. My mother said "watch out for the women that don't give a sh#t about themselves." But it seems that applies to women and men.  

chivalry went the way of donald rumsfeld!! you didn't get the missive? nah i'm just kidding!! people have tried for years to break away from societal conditioning, especially women!! if you are yearning, no demanding a demarcation of societal preconceptions about what people do and who people are, then those who come after that want no part of the fight, like you teedra, get caught up in the bullshit!! the current state of affairs is  a byproduct of the women's movement!! don't get me wrong, i'm the most malleable person you'll ever meet in terms of people doing what they want, i'm just letting u know that you are going to have to eat that shyt cause that is just the way it is now!!

peace

I hear you loud and clear girl!!  I can't stand a pretty ass man.  Don't get me wrong, he's got to be good looking but not on the feminine side.  On the note of real and fake ass nigga's I think that just like a man a women enjoys a good challenge.  I will admitt that I have had my choice between a good man and a player and I chose the player.  With a good man I think the challenge isn't there and thats what makes us choose them.  Of, course we end up regretting it later but this is just my thought on that subject.

Miss Jackie

Amen, Sista!!  I hear you on that!  It's tough out here if you looking for a REAL man cause I swear they are a dying breed.  All the dudes on some other shyt and I'm a southern bell that will only be treated as such.  If you find out where the REAL MEN are, let a sista know...lol.  I know I could relate to your songs.. but to hear you put it out in a REAL Talk blogg is very cool.  Your unique and talented and it's good to hear you embrace your gifts from GOD, and still relate to the struggle of REAL Women out here!  Much Love!!! 

~Real~

Yes Ma'am!  Yes Ma'am!  Yes MA'AM!!  Teedra girl... I honestly just wrote a blog concerning this same issue!  I catered it more to my Seattle Men, because I'm just so sick of their lazy a$$es and how they be acting to me and my girlfriends... good ~ REAL WOMAN!!  I had to put the finger on the trigger and point these dudes out because I don't understand WHERE they be getting off - getting away with murder the way they do.  HONESTLY, I thought it was just an epedimic in Seattle.  Cute Dudes frontin' like they all that (On tha Real! Seattle does have some very ATTRACTIVE Type Brothas - I'll give them that - I'm not trying to hate on them) but they ain't got a pot to piss in!  Actin' like they're gods gift to women, when really they ain't about sh*t!  (Not all of them mind you, but it's fair to say it's a large enough number to be a PROBLEM).  I have noticed Seattle women be handling their business and their Mens business!  Gotta give props to my ladies... we be RUNNING SHIT!  We got our jobs together, our money is right, we do things!  And we get deep into it with these fake fools, who don't give a dayum and take us for granted and WE LET THEM (Gotta point the finger on my home girls too - We ain't right the way we let these men put us off!) But forreal these men just lay back and LET US TAKE CARE OF THEM!!!  WHAT!?!  Where is the balance?  Aren't they suppose to wear the pants?  Where is the chivilary?  What happened to a man putting his lady first!?!  Awe hayell naw!  I just seriously don't get it!!  I guess it's a comforting feeling knowing, it's not just the West Coast... it's world wide! 

Thanks for sharing!

Tash

its getting ugly out there because of fads, no one has they own mind, too many things are condoned..

with the rise of the feminist and the already known male chovanist already in place society is going crazy.. everybody wants independance but they snub values and everyday life values for it. people rather beat the other gender down thinking its empowering when its only hurting.. everyone saw matrix evolution yet didn't understand the concept..

neo decided that instead of keeping a war going on that would slaughter humans against machines it would be better to find a resolution.. there has always been a gender war looming and someone is pulling the strings to make it happen and eg it on to squash the life out of what men and women should bind together for.. unity!!! without unity of us all, we will forever be controlled and programmed. without it we would die and be seperated and hate each other and that rise is coming unless we all play neo.. revolutionize our thinking.

I agree with you 100 percent. Even though I have been raised under a different generation and women my age have a totally different mentality. but there truly appears to be no real men out there. I am a strong-willed, very independent woman who has no problem finding a man, but at the same time men have become very lazy and seem to want women to chase them. I know one thing I am definitely going to have to quote your blog because I know for sure my friends who have not added you yet, will agree with this blog completely. I'm not old skool, but I have definitely been taught that we as women are to be put first! Now it's as if a man wants to be put first, to be pampered and catered to, when there hasn't been a real commitment put forth. Indeed, What is up with that? I am a woman who's willing to take care of her man (when in a commited, equal relationship). but not if I got to chase you !

Gender roles are very much blurred in today's society!  And though, I'm not alleviating MEN of there responsibility in this matter - the WOMEN today are just as much to blame for this situation.

There's us women who are STRONG & INDEPENDENT...who "...don't need a Man "... that opened the door for the 'death of chivalry'.  And then there's us women who are so in DESPERATE need of a Man that we'd do and/or accept anything to get one...that opened the door for (in the words of Kat Williams) "Bitch Niggas".

We're sending the wrong messages as women and raising a nation of BOYS, not Men. The way I see it....a Man will only do what you ALLOW him to do.

....Behavior is learned.

Another thing  I have noticed...

Is that GOOD GUYS finish last with today's women! Everybody want's a Bad Boy, a Thug, a Balla, a Boss Nigga, etc...

We seem to be drawn to the trifling Men...which is subconciously sending the wrong message.

Teedra, girl there is so much truth in what you are saying!!!

 Girls now days have gone wild. It's ridiculous when you see all these females chasing after these men. Guys don't care cause all they trying to do is get off. But its a shame, because all they doing is copying those "so-call" role models. You know them, the rappers and sports stars. Kids don't look up to having a good education and working as an investment banker or a lawyer or atleast something that will make them good steady money, they look up and want to be a rapper or a basketball player. And these are the people that are encouraging our youth. They walk around oblivious to anything other than themselves, so how can we expect them to care about anybody else when that is all they have to look up to? Our adults have to step up and start teaching the NEXT generation, because they are already lost. Fathers really need to be there for their kids, because that seems like part of the missing link.

There are some good men out there, but they are few and far between.

Hey T,

I agree with you 100 percent.  I'm not gonna go into repeating what everybody else said.  But I do want to tell you that I as well everybody else really appreciate these blogs from you.  Sometimes it feels like entertainers are in this far off place and don't seem to face the same problems the rest of us "regular" people face. Its just nice to know I'm not alone in this saga called life.  Take care.

Hey Teedra,

Thanks for posting this blog. It needs to be said so badly. Me and my friends are having this conversation almost daily. I'm from North Carolina so I'm used to the Southern men that used to chase you and take you out on actual dates. However, in the last few years things have changed drastically. Niggas don't seem to want to put in any work to get a woman these days. It's as if they see themselves as an endangered species and act like everyone wants them. At least that's what I've been finding since I've moved to the west coast. It's ridiculous! You try to have a regular conversation with a nigga and he looking at you like you want something from him. Which I can't help but laugh at since I probably make more money than he does. But let me talk to someone from another race who's trying to kick it and niggas come out of the wood works to try to I guess "save me from myself." It's amazing how they act when we cross those borders when they do it more than imaginable. This is really troubling for all of my single sistas out here wanting the same type of love and security as our counterparts but are getting much less. Quick to make us baby mamas and them wives. Oh and don't get me started on how much our race is suffering from this. Another reason I think niggas are acting so blahzay about shit is that there are soo many women out here giving up ass like it's for charity or something...expecting nothing in return. Niggas used to have to work for it. How did that song go...no romance without finance. Now it's ass in exchange for a little bit of attention. I'm so over it all right now it's not even funny.  Will the REAL MEN please stand up!!!

GIRL,it's this DAMN....LOS ANGELES...there's still a few good ones elsewhere!!!!!!!Go back and look underneath that country DIRT!!!!HA...luv ya chick...xoxo

Truth H.

lol.. you are too funny!!  I understand what you mean though cause I hear alot of females talking about that situation.  Not that I understand (cause I'm always on the other end of the stick with things).. but I can imagine what you all have to go through as being females lookin for a real man.  Shit now you have to worry about things like HIV and the "downlow" niggas..lol.. As if it wasn't already hard enough to trust a nigga!! lol..

Carl Kelly
DC
I love you ma!!

Why are men looking so pretty these days. They arch their eye brows more than me.

Amen to that one!! I say it all the time.. They jeans be as tight as mine..lol

But fa real.. it's like men don't appreciate a good woman. They hardly try to put they woman first and with the quality of men out there, it's like should I just stay and put up with it because who knows some other guy might be ten times as worth. They take us for granted soo much. I know I'm better than the next bitch, but do you see it daddy? Do you really know that that bitch ain't half as good as me? If soo..play your roll and make sure I'm taken care of. I'm young but I ain't stupid!

Lady T.  You have said so much. Two things caught my eye: "Women sometimes don't play the women roll and men don't play their roll" and " I just don't know where someone like me fits into a society like this. Once again this is just my OPINION. what u think?

Men are men by the clear power they have over women , which is limited.  As soon as a women has gained her freedom as equally to a man's freedom. She has actually achieved more power than a man.

For example a women diva will attract and allure a bigger crowd than a male singer. Being a man has nothing to do with gender.Like being a nigga has nothing to do with being black. Right?

A women's place of your standard in a society like this is exactly where your standing.    As the clearest One.     Of course this is my ass hole  opinion.

We are all taught  right from wrong as a child. But know one ever told us how to control that wild heart  King or Queen.

I was taught God controls the heart . Then we decide what route to go with it.  Keep going but know that Allah is watching.