On the way to a show a while back, my buddy and I passed by an ostrich farm. For those of you that have seen an ostrich in real life, you know that ostriches are mean fuckin' birds. They spit, kick and all kinds of shit. So I told my friend that I thought I could beat the shit out of one ostrich. He didn't think I could do it....he said they kick a lot. Big deal! All you have to do is give 'em a good leg-sweep....and when their little ostrich head comes down you PUNCH them right in the ostrich eye! My friend was debating me, too. He said they have big, heavy wings that they can flap in your face. I said that they are made out of feathers!!! What...like I've never been hit with a fuckin pillow?!?! Fuck birds! Look...an ostrich has a brain the size of a walnut. I'll be damned if I'm gonna let a walnut-sized brain bird get a kick in on me. You know what? Fuck all flight animals. 