Dear Diary,

     Abigail and I have taken to the New Jersey shoreline for the summer. Yesterday, I made the mistake of not offering to piggyback Abigail across the beach to our spot. I was let off easy. My punishment was that I was to sit in the sun without sunscreen for the day. I hurt terribly today. I only pray that my blisters dont erupt and make a mess on the shag carpet. Abigail was kind enough to warn me of that already. Last night, Abigail and I took to the boardwalk. She instructed me to purchase her a pound of fudge. I should know by now that Abigail prefers vanilla fudge, even though I purchased chocolate fudge. We then had a good laugh as Abigail, tongue-in-cheek, screamed at me in front of hundreds of passersby, pelting me with the wrong fudge and saying "You are as useless as a splintered dildo!" We had a good laugh, I dabbed by ruptured blisters, and we headed off to view the sunset. Abigail was kind enough to force me to sit facing away from the sunset so we could each have our own perspective. I was able to see the sunset from the reflection in a storefront window. I then offered a silent prayer thanking Abigail for allowing be to view the sunset from that point of view. Oh well, off to think soothing thoughts as my sunburn is acting up. I thought aloud of using aloe to soothe my burns, but Abigail's medical expertise prevailed. She told me the only way to treat a burn is to wait out a burn. I am blessed to have her.