It's something of a shock to write this, especially as today is my Dad's birthday.  He would have been 72 today.  I almost didn't write this entry, considering how this is my Dad's day, and my second birthday without him, but the news just came too close to ignore.

Michael Jackson was essential 1980's. You could say what you wanted to about him, but there was no one else like him. My sister got me into MJ when I was little. I lived Thriller. LOVED it. My sister went to a few of his concerts in Dallas. I was too little.

Bad came along, and of course it was undeniable his physical appearance was changing, and the tabloids were coming up with the most outlandish stories, but it didn't matter as the music and videos were still good. The Sega Genesis came along, and I played Moonwalker forever. I picked up Dangerous. I still liked MJ even when it wasn't "cool" to do so.

I remember his music video premieres were major events on television. His videos still remain some of the best cinematic experiences set to music around. The guest stars that appeared in his videos were staggering in prominence and popularity. He redefined MTV. And music. And singing. And dancing. And even gaming, as he worked a lot with Sega back in the day. He was utterly fascinating.

I frowned as he transformed from the handsome and enthusiastic black kid with a cheerful attitude and a great smile to what he eventually sculpted himself into. All of the allegations, and lawsuits, the rumors and unusual relationships and kids, and losing his property. But I still hung on to old-school MJ. His contributions couldn't be erased no matter how unusual his personal life became (I even found a copy of Captain EO a few years back).

Reverend Al Sharpton said it best yesterday that people who wouldn't have anything to do with him in his later years, now all flock together to pay tribute and respect to the artistic genius that he's always been. It's his death that reminds people how talented he was. It was hard to watch this man lose his empire because of so many bad decisions that could have been easily avoided. He could have been this great humanitarian and benign symbol of friendship to kids. But he also needed to follow certain rules, even in his world. I can't help but wonder how things would have turned out for him without the constant lawsuits and if someone had talked him out of those later surgeries. I wish someone had helped him sort through some of those personal demons.

Whereas Ghostbusters: The Video Game reopened a large part of my childhood last week, the death of Michael Jackson has ended another major part. I was at work yesterday, on The Revenant, when a co-worker called out that he had died. I didn't believe it. TMZ, of all sources, was the first to break the news. "Wait for CNN", I said. And then it hit. The others who hadn't heard it were in shock as I broke the news that he was gone. No one believed me. I didn't even believe me.

I sat in quiet numbness yesterday, reading the unfolding reports and confirmations that Michael Jackson was indeed dead. On the way home, I listened to "Human Nature" from Thriller, and I smiled sadly. When I got home, one of my neighbors was playing some Jackson 5 from his window. "Depressing, isn't it?" he called out sadly as I walked by. And it was.

I hope that, when the dust settles, and people look back, they remember his music, and not the drama of his personal life. It saddens me that he couldn't have had his one final chance to contribute just a little bit more, but he left a remarkable legacy in his own right, of creative music that wasn't manufactured like almost everything today on the radio is. His music had heart and soul and enthusiasm and a near undeniable need to get down when his music played over the speakers. And that's how I knew him. I knew him through his music, and those Moonwalker gaming sessions from way too many nights so long ago. In that respect, his legacy lives on as it should.

But it in no way lessens the shock of such a sudden passing.