Mr. Agruso, I'm SO hugging you when I get to class on Tuesday!!

So, I was on the show and this was, admittedly, the WORST experience of my life. It was worse than actually being bullied.

When we first started filming, Tyra's producers had told all of us that the segment would be about how not to judge people by appearances. We all thought this was a great idea and, come on, it's Tyra Banks, so we went along with it. But as we started going more into it, they started making us talk about how it felt to be "unpopular" and how he think that the "popular girls" shouldn't treat us the way they do.

First of all, our school isn't divided like that. Second of all, our school doesn't have cliques. Third of all, WE DIDN'T KNOW HALF OF THOSE "POPULAR GIRLS" EVEN WENT TO OUR SCHOOL. They were telling us that we would work out our problems with each other when none of us really had any problems to begin with.

I don't know what was going through the other girls' heads. All I know is that I was trying to say that yes, I was bullied and it had hurt THEN, but I'm older now. I'm more comfortable in my own skin. It doesn't hurt ANYMORE. But you notice how we never said anything close to that? It's because everytime we tried, they would cut us off. Everytime we tried to say something that wasn't apart of their carefully planned science experiment, we were stopped.

When the "popular girls" were talking about how we had to have confidence and how we had to want to look pretty everyday and wear the clothes and do our hair,I was trying to say, well, maybe we like the way we are. Maybe we're sick of people telling us that it's wrong to be the way we are, when nobody tells you otherwise.

I know I'm not the prettiest girl on the block. I know I'm at fault at this, too. I, too, sometimes judge people by appearance. But that doesn't hinder my ability to see past that. Kristen said that she probably wouldn't be friends with someone that was overweight. Five minutes later, on stage, she said she wouldn't care.

I sat there, the whole time, feeling like the victim when I didn't want to feel that way. I didn't want to be pitied OR scorned. I thought we were going to talk about how it's not right to judge people by appearances. That's what I thought.

(Just because people keep pointing out how we never talked much, our assistant principal told us not to talk if we feel uncomfortable because they'd just twist our words around. They did. He's currently very angry.)

But what pisses me off EVEN MORE wasn't the way that the so-called "popular girls" were acting. Oh no. That's to be expected on national television. What made me angry was how Tyra makes herself out to be such a nice person that cares for everyone and truly wants to know what everyone involved has to say. IT'S A LIE. Every commercial break, she was doing her hair and her make-up and her face was glued to the tele-prompter. She never spoke to us ONCE off camera. Her hairsylists were more personable than she was. We spoke to her producers more than the actual host. And then, as we're causing a riot backstage, she still doesn't speak to us and she was basically attacking the "popular girls," even though half of them had never done a damn thing to us. Tyra Banks is a fake.

This show created problems that weren't there. People that I had never awknowledged before in my life are now glaring at me in the hallways because I "wanted my two seconds of fame, so I played the victim and lied about what so-and-so said on national television." Whatever. I'm so sick of people talking about this show and I hate talking about it myself, but I had to get this out.

And even after the show, I don't have a problem with these girls. I don't speak to them. They might be talking shit about me behind my back. They might be talking shit about my best friend, who stuck up for us when I thought everyone was just thinking "these girls are a bunch of whiney bitches." But I can't assume, because then I'd be doing the same thing that we were trying to talk about. Judging them. And I don't know them. So I'm not going to judge. I only knew one of those girls personally and my opinion of them still stands. I'm not going to call her a "plastic," because that's a term the Brittney came up with in the heat of the moment and I don't agree with it. But I know that she's a liar. And that's about all.

I wish the show could've been shot under better cicumstances. I wish I didn't have to cry and hide in a corner on the party bus home because I thought they were going to kill each other. I can't fix that.

I DID learn something from this show, so all of you people saying that we didn't learn anything, you're wrong. I learned the talk shows are fake. I learned that Tyra Banks is an ass. I learned that the things we say, like "plastics..." They feel that, too. I'M NOT A VICTIM. THEY'RE NOT ALL ASSHOLES. I don't know what to say anymore. I think I've
said all I need to say.

Upside, I got a discount at a Nathan's because they recognized me from the Tyra Show.