In an attempt to either prove or disprove the words of poets and songslingers of days past, I performed an elaborate experiment last night. I had a bunch of roses at my bedside that the petals were beginning to fall off of. They weren't losing their moisture or shape or color or anything. They were just falling off. So... I took all the roses and shook them all over my bed. I recall hearing stories, songs, and poetic devices regarding sleeping on roses and rose petals and the like, and I wanted to see for myself if there was anything to it. Christi slept atop a fragrant rose petal covered bed last night.

Here are my findings.

Rose petals stick to your face. This is not very pleasant when you're trying to sleep. You roll over and there are rose petals stuck to your face and it just feels weird. The ones under my body, I didn't notice anything special about at all. Maybe you aren't supposed to wear pajamas and sleep atop rose petals. The rules weren't exactly specified, so I didn't know for sure. When I woke up, I had a big mess of smooshed rose petals to clean up; not only on my bed, but also under it, around it, on the nightstand, and in my hair. The roses themselves had been very fragrant, so I had hoped at least for a nice rosey smell, but sadly, that was not the case. The rosey smell seemed to be limited to the petals themselves and not to anything they touched.

In conclusion, I have to say that the idea of sleeping atop rose petals is strictly a metaphor for the soft skin of a woman or some other such nonsense with no basis in reality.