it's a way of life.

I just wrote a comment on Lily Allen's "boo hoo someone called me fat" blog in which I consoled Lily by polking fun at Amy Winehouse. Apparently someone said that Winehouse was better than her or some really juvenile shit and Lily had a breakdown because she's 125ibs instead of 110ibs or something ridiculous like that. So Lily's got a thousand people telling her that she's awesome and what not and then I threw in my two clever little cents by saying:

"First of all, you're tiny. I've seen you up close. I know these things. Second of all, just because skele-whores are all the rage now doesn't mean that regular sized people are fat. It just means that the apocalpyse is near. Remember back in the 90s when Kate Moss was considered skinny? And now she's voluptous compared to the newer models? 'Tis a sad thing, Lily... we are living in a time when beauty is completey warped. I mean, Lindsay Lohan was picked as Maxim's #1 hottest this year. Bless her soul, she's a haggard little thing. And as far as Amy Winehouse is concerned, I threw up a little in my mouth when I read that someone said she was a better artist than you. I like you Lily, you can actually sing and you've got excellent taste. Amy Winehouse reminds me of someone that might nearly have been cast in Cry-Baby had Susan Tyrrell not come along to play Ramona Rickettes. So fret not Lily, people are just mean because they forget that at any given moment, they can be magically removed from the world by a large bus or Sports Utility Vehicle.  P.S. Cheryl Tweedy is on her way to becoming Posh Spice II. Oh god, here it comes again... bluh."

I was really just commenting on how being incredibly thin has been elevated to an outrageous level. And I'm sure being in the industry and having a little junk must feel like being the chick in high school who couldn't quite fit in her desk. But anyway, I polked at Amy Winehouse because well, I hate that fucking "Rehab" song. With the passion of a thousand fiery suns (don't use that, it's mine). So I've been giving ol' Amy shit since I heard it. Of course, being the curse of my life, I always find something really cool or interesting about someone right after I bash them leaving me painfully aware of what a cunt I can be. So there it is, Amy Winehouse. I understand that yours has not been an easy ride and that Lily Allen might just be a whimpering little twat. And seriously, who puts up a picture of herself crying in bed on myspace? Show some self-control.

So to you, Amy Winehouse, I apologize. But I still hate your song. 

And while I'm at it, nothin' but love for you Lindsay Lohan. But really, I liked you better when you didn't look as old as me.

it's a blessing and a curse, people. I'm still waiting for my bus to come...