Maybe it's his charm, maybe it's that element of danger... maybe it's because he filmed a scene in which he fought naked in a sauna...

How can I, a mere mortal, define the hotness that is Viggo Mortensen? A man old enough to be my father, who gets hotter as he ages (Sean Connery ain't got shit) and who I wish I were my father so I'd have an excuse to open the door abruptly while he showers (that's dirty). But seriously whose dad is that hot anyway? Hot enough to drive you to incest? No one, that's who. Except for Viggo Mortensen.

If I were a man, or if I ever became one I would like to look like Viggo Mortensen, sure I'd probably have to work out a lot and grow about four inches (if midgets can, why can't I) to achieve even a mere resemblance to the god-like being that is Viggo Mortensen, but isn't that something to achieve? I've never been an over-achiever, or even an achiever, but this is something I could stive for.

And at the very least, I could find some way to break into his house so that I could walk in on him as he showers. I'd probably go to jail for that, but I don't mind. How many people can say they've seen Viggo Mortensen's junk first hand? Probably his girlfriends, but not strangers (excluding the crew of Eastern Promises).  

He's the epitomy of movie star cool because he's not lame like the other guys. No, he's mister badass with an extra serving of badassness. And to prove my theory, I leave you with this:

which translates as, "don't fuck around."