This whole blog entry is really self serving, it's meant to force my hand and keep me on task. It might be boring reading for anyone else. But sometimes a public declaration is a good motivating force.

So, I am looking over my profile tonight and have come to the conclusion it is a horribly disjointed mess. Alright, in a way that was intentional and truthfully I find it sort of charming, as it plods along randomly falling into and out of topics and with odd, surrealistic one liners punctuating the end of longer sections.

But it's still a mess. I haven't had a 'I read the WHOLE profile' message in ages. I used to get them all the time. Look, you put this much stuff online and you are a bit of an attention whore and I will not pretend otherwise. Given this admission, you'll understand I'd like to be read again.

See, it all began as bits and pieces on my so very neglected website, and then these widely scattered tidbits, along with some new material, coalesced into a proper profile over at Care2 many years ago. Of course, Care2 profiles used theme sections at that time, such as 'if I were mayor, I'd change the world by' or '5 things I could not live without', and 'wild facts about me'. So naturally, my page was built around these sections and if you look around here on myspace, you'll still see the lingering remnants of this method of profile structuring.

But, I kept adding stuff to the profile by chucking in a paragraph or sentence here or there among the existing material, and so it got a little disjointed.

Care2 eventually went a bit more free form, and by that I mean one evening they changed everything and in the process totally butchered my profile. I had to recreate it, which involved scouring through the files of several dozen old cd's (I back up a LOT of stuff, but do so with little organization) and taking all the found bits and reassembling my profile as best I could. I think I lost a few things but got most of it back. Of course, this made it even MORE haphazardly laid out. And, going over it again that way got my mental juices flowing and a lot of new material appeared in just a few days. More disorder followed.

So anyway, in October of 2006 my friend Jodie convinced me to sign up here. I actually had a myspace account prior to that, but found the place alien and difficult to use and nothing came of it. I was trained on Care2 and variants to that were not tasty to my palate. I tried to remember my old sign in information to no avail, and so I took up with this account.

At first, I used it to send messages to Jodie, and nothing else. Eventually though I added some profile information and properly sussed out the ways and means of MySpace. Once that happened, I transferred my Care2 profile wholesale over to here, complete with all the sections (left meaningless without section titles). So I did some half assed editing to make things less nonsensical, mostly involving dumping the Care2 section titles right into my profile here (go check it out, you 'll find "cool quotes" and other artifacts of Care2 out there on it).

So after a bit I stopped updating my Care2 profile and started to make this my REAL online identity. By that point my profile was already a jumbled mess. I ran out of space (literally...I used up so much that myspace just cut off anything at the end of the profile to make room for whatever new stuff I put it). To counter this, I started using the MySpace specific sections such as 'television' 'heroes' etc, and having freed up new space I also put up a little message at the end of the 'about me' section, proudly proclaiming I had broken MySpace. It's still there, cause hey, I broke MySpace~!

Over the last year I have continued adding chunks of stuff...Yeah, the start of my profile has more recent text, but so does the middle, the end...it's everywhere. It's everywhere and it's insane!

Plus, reading it over leaves me flustered at the sheer volume of outdated information. Some of this stuff is 7 years old, which isn't bad, I like the history, but it is disruptive if it is no longer meaningful to my life.

Over the last 7 or 8 years in no particular order except that which my memory serves me, I have stopped driving, sold my car, become a vegetarian, acquired 3 cats, moved, become isolated and lonely, acquired a digital camera and started taking snapshots of everything no matter how meaningless, lost and gained a lot of weight, tried and failed and tried again to better myself as a person, and done a lot of things really. All that time...it's only slightly represented in my profile. I have no desire or intention to build a timeline and chronicle my meager achievements or failings, but fuck I'd sure like this profile to represent who I am a bit better.

I also don't want to get rid of stuff wholesale...I just want a more logical layout and order, and a current reflection of my life, instead of disorder and mismatched slices of who I was.

But that means I have to take EVERYTHING, go over it, reorder it, remove the no longer relevant stuff and write and insert all the current material.

Have you SEEN the length of this profile? Maybe you understand my trepidation at undertaking such a task.

But I'd sure love to get things right. And I'd sure love to get more 'I read the whole thing' messages. Yeah, I'm shallow, but I'm honest ;0)