This is something I wrote in passing last night for a forum I visit, it seems to have gone over well so I am putting it up here as well.
Like most of the material I write, this is infused with r-rated humor and subversive themes. So if you are easily offended, please skip this, as I do not want my little mental outpourings to hurt anyone.
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Captain Bishop's report 14 March, 1789: Midshipman Davies has offered me the most amusing, but highly naive belief. For it seems he holds fast to the concept that beneath the waves are legions of rabid mermen, diseased and hungry for the flesh of land dwellers. I shall have to look into having Davies reassigned to another vessel when next we make port.
I had in passing during a night of fitful sleep a dream I have dreampt before. A dream not visual, but olfactory in nature. The scent of meat on an open pit wafted through my cabin in the fevered imaginations of my mind. I had hoped morning would bring a dawning of glad tidings and peaceful thought, but unfortunate news greeted me instead. The cabin boy has gone missing. This happens with all we take aboard. I fear a curse.
Captain Bishop's report 15 March, 1789: My embarrassment is beyond telling, for no doubt can be had that rabid mermen do exist. Naturally, I was fast in telling Midshipman Davies his was the correct observation. I feel the moral victory was a great comfort to the man as Dr. Jekyll removed Davies' freshly mangled leg. Jekyll managed full completion of this operation in under 2 minutes, I must confess I was moved to offering an ovation at such a masterful demonstration of the surgical arts. The men must have been impressed at this rare show of unconditional praise, as everyone in the operating theater stood mouth agape as I clapped my hands.
Captain Bishop's report 16 March, 1789: Davies has responded poorly, and Jekyll was today forced to remove the rest of his leg. Compensation of 27 pence will be added to his pay as standard per such situations.
Today I suggested to the men that when next we reach port, that we take aboard not a cabin boy, but a cabin girl. I felt this would break the curse. The men met my suggestion with sound disapproval, victims of their own superstitions in regards to the fairer sex at sea. All save one lowly deckhand Wiggins, whose enthusiasm would have been insulting had such been feigned, but no deception could rouse such passion in a man. His vocal support was nearly enough to convince the others, but not quite. Stupid superstitious fools. I hope they do not allow slavery to unscientific thoughts to bring harm on the ship. I am sure I will be able to prevent this though, touch wood.
Captain Bishop's report 17 March, 1789: Davies seems to have developed infection in his other leg, and again, the good Dr. Jekyll was forced to remove the sickly flesh.
Some of the crew complained of the quality of our food today, but quickly silenced themselves when a new topic of conversation was introduced by our cook, who suggested at the next port we take on not one but two fresh cabin boys. The whole crew was nearly apoplectic with excitement, and Wiggins, previously my one solid supporter, poured forth such enthusiasm for the suggestion I decided to damn the payroll regulations and hire for us two young lads. The men are pleased, and seem to be planning a welcoming feast for the boys.
Captain Bishop's report 18 March, 1789: Davies lost arm today due to blood impurity. But I shook the hand on his last remaining limb and his mood seemed bright.
Hurfock today accused the cook of stealing. Knowing the cook to be an honest and decent man, I ordered Hurfock bound and lashed for impugning the mans name. We nearly tore half the flesh off his back when, lo and behold, Wiggins came forward and offered proof that the cook was indeed a thief. I felt so silly and immediately ordered Hurfock cut free of his bonds.
I must confess that I regret deeply the misguided decision to offer him a comforting slap on the back as they carried him to the hospital.
Captain Bishop's report 19 March, 1789: Oddly, it seems that blood impurity can quickly bring to ruin limbs, and Jekyll operated to remove Davies second arm.
Today we made port and all the men were gay. They seem so excited at the prospect of mentoring a brace of cabin boys on our upcoming voyage. Wiggins most of all.
Wiggins is a delight! While all the other men went ashore and were sucked into the whirlpool of taverns and red light districts, Wiggins did as he always has. He takes his pay and rents a small wagon, covers the back with canvas, filling the inside with toys. Then, he travels around town offering free candy to all the children and letting them rest and play inside the wagon, protected from the harsh noonday sun. Such a considerate person, thinking of others as his crewmates imbue vast quantities of ale and waste their meager wages on unsavory whores.
Captain Bishop's report 20 March, 1789: We have left port and everyone is pleased at the new cabin boys. Wiggins could not be parted from their side! And our cook has taken up with them as well, offering them all sorts of freshly baked treats. Though his intentions are good, I fear he might fatten them and make them slow at work.
Passing of sailor report: Davies was sent off to the deep today, as he had developed a throat disorder and the doctors solution of amputation of the head, while successful in ending Davies' cough, also tragically led to his demise. Ironically, rabid mermen surfaced as the body struck the waves, and ingested the remains in full sight of the crew.
Captain Bishop's report 21 March, 1789: Fate, cruel, the curse remains. I again dreampt of the smell of meat on an open pit, and again, come morning one of the cabin boys has gone missing. Though, in open defiance of their disappointment, the men seem quite determined to be cheerful today and talk of feeling satisfied.