Gathering up his mittens and a venemous porridge unidentifiable by taxidermists anywhere, Mr. De Groot floats via umbrella through the forest (which he views as a plagueland) and proceeds to leave the porridge in strategic hearths so they may be stumbled upon by young children and rabbits. Upon partaking of the lumpy elixir the creatures obtain a random array of superpowers, useless as they are.

For instance, Jimmy Trim now drains pebbles through his eyesockets instead of tears, Veronica Rogers now understands the language of the teddy bears who are mostly insecure and desperate, pleading, "pleasedon'tleaveme. pleasedon'tleavemetodieinadumpsterwithmyfurallmattedandgrayandmystuffingstickingout,", and one lucky rabbit found that his pheremones have increased his attractiveness to women, except that it also increased his attractiveness to predators and he shortly became a satisfying snack for a python.

Mr. De Groot's activities did not go unnoticed by the police. However, since there is currently no law against wearing mittens and dropping porridge, they are powerless to do anything about it. Although they did utilize Jimmy Trim's power to make the other bowls of porridge too lumpy to consume. More news at 11.

Chris Opperman