And now, some random funny crap said by my family on mother's day.

Me: How are you doing?
Grandma: YES!


Me: So how do we get to Harry's house?
Grandma: He's going on a cruise.
Me: Cool, so how do we get to his house?
Grandma: I have to get his keys.
Kevin: *is driving up to the turn which is still about 20 feet away*
Grandma: THAT WAS THE TURN RIGHT THERE! Turn now!!!


Me: *sits in chair and turns on its massager* That feels pretty good.
Grandma: That's because it has a vibrator in it!
Everyone: *snort*
Grandma: I'd use a vibrator but it blows my back out.
Everyone: LOLZ


Dad: You could have ANY GUY YOU WANTED!
Me: ಠ_ಠ
(Note: Never in my entire life has any guy I was crushing on been interested in me, so to suggest that I somehow have my pick of the crop is lulzy indeed. Parental self-delusion seemingly knows no bounds)