I got my college entrance exams' result on June 23rd. My suffering began on that day.

What troubles me first is that my result is much worse than I expected. I think it must be the worst exam result I've ever had in this year [or in these years]. My grade ranks the 1021st of this state [province], which is bad enough and makes the situation more embarassing for me to select a university to study in.

The system of selecting and asking for acception of universities in China is complicated and really troublesome. If someone didn't make a clever choice, he/she might be unable to study in any university. Everyone has only one chance.

And that's what makes me anxious these days. Just after I got the result I started looking at the former enrolled grades of thousands of universities & majors. I mean, the grades of the candidates who have successfully entered some college/university and some certain major in 2007 and 2006. This kind of data can help me make my own decision: which one to apply for, which major to choose for, etc. I have to be very careful because I can only apply for one university and if I failed on that one, I would hardly have any chance to get in another one.

First I was thinking about BUPT [Beijing University of Posts and Telecommunication]. My chance of entering this one is a little more than 90%. And it's a university highly spoken of. But due to my poor grades, I will not be able to choose the majors myself. Besides, I was also thinking about Wuhan University, Zhongshan University, Xiamen University, Huazhong University of Science and Technology, etc. I hestitated and was so comfused. I'd been asking my friends to share our views but still could not make a decision.

On 25th my parents suggested me studying foreign languages. From that day my goals turned to BFSU [Beijing Foreign Studies University]. I myself had been thinking about this one before (as on my earlier blog). But, the matter is that this is the 1st year that the university enrol science students of our state, which means that I have no old data to help me. I don't know how high a grade this university ask for (and the university itself doesn't know either for not having any earlier datas). My parents kept on telling me how good it is for a person like me to study foreign languages, and I think I believed them at that time.

However, applying for BFSU means I will risk my future with a quite small chance. In those days my whole family was very anxious. We were so worried if it failed.

On 28th evening I made a decision which I now think was a good one. I declared to my parents that I didn't want to study language (as a major) any longer. I made this decision after careful reflection. I realized that I should think for myself, not simply follow others' advice. I may be good at studying language, but what I love most is still science & technology. I chose to be a science student 2 years ago and I will never ever regret it. As a result, we threw away the BFSU thoughts. And my goals again returned to BUPT.

My family almost relieved after my decision. But my mom - a bit too pessimistic as usual, I suppose - kept on reminding me that I still have 10% chance of failure. New suffering began: is BUPT good enough for me to risk the 10%? Does it deserve the risk?

I've been thinking and reflecting in these days, which is a tiring job. Now I believe selecting university is a really good way of losing weight. XD

Yesterday [it's 30th here now] I made a decision again, which put BUPT thoughts out of our heads forever. I, after reflection, realized that I shouldn't long for some school just because it's famous or popular. Reputation is not the most important thing when selecting a school. It's still, stupid to follow the trend without one's personal thinkings - is that right?

My now - and I hope, final - decision is NUAA [Nanjing University of Aeronautics and Astronautics]. My chance of entering & being able to choose the major myself is near 100%, I think. This school is not very famous in my state, Guangxi. But I found it a very excellent place to go and I think the major on aeroplane designing technology will be cool. Good luck to myself!