Hello everyone.  I'm terribly sorry that I was not more courteous to my friends over the holidays.  Normally, I would be deeply ashamed for not at the very least sending out a blanket bulletin to everyone wishing a Happy New Year, but I swear to you I have a damn, bloody good reason for not doing so this new year.

I'm currently writing this from a military installation in the far, far reaches of the Canadian north.  My entire town has been evacuated due to extreme casualties from a highly unpredictable phenomenon.

I spent 3 days evading raveous zombies. 

It's insane, but it's true.  Luckily, I have seen plenty of movies and have a very dark imagination and I was able to seek refuge in a hardware store. Also, in Yellowknife, the temperature was low enough to slowly freeze the stumbling corpses in their tracks.  Take it from me, in the event of zombification of your neighbors, haul ass up to Canada.  Cause if you can survive a week, then there will be no zombies to convert you after that; plus you can practice on them for the next time.

So that's why I wasn't able to wish you all a happy new year at midnight.  If you can't forgive me, considering the circumstances, then fuck you all!

And uh... there's no point in reading it up on CNN or anything.  The government has covered it up.

Happy New Year, everyone.