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antwan.™



Last Updated: 4/2/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 23
Sign: Pisces

City: Brooklyn
State: New York
Country: US
Signup Date: 3/16/2004

Who Gives Kudos:

ゼロ冷却しなさい (2)
(2)
(2)
TRIED TO CH.. (1)
(2)
(2)
Randy (2)
Saturday, June 11, 2005 

Current mood:at my wits end.

well i seem to be at square one for the millionth time in my life. literally, the millionth. and to be honest, its getting depressing. i am the biggest fool i know. i am such an idiot. to think things would be different when i came home from college. ha. so dumb. im stuck in the middle of the toughest emotional battle i have ever encountered and im losing. and i can't stand it. i always tell people that you learn more from losing than winning and man, i wish i wasn't losing this battle right now. i dont want a life lesson...i want  the girl...and i cant have her. what i need to do is move on for my own good and whenever i try to, thoughts come back into my mind and bring up old feelings. i feel like such a failure. im to ashamed to say anything to her and havent mentioned anything to her in about 2 years. i think its sad. it shouldn't take someone two years to get over another person, ever. im so good at passing out relationship advice to others and i can't even get my own life straight. i mean i dont mind givng out the advice, in fact no one has ever complained that the advice has been bad..lol. they always thank me for it. but i just dont understand for the life of me what im doing wrong in my own life.
im so lost right now...my life is at a stand still and i cant decide which way to go. i know that if i get involved with someone else [if someone even wants to become involved with me] she all of a sudden becomes free..i'll run to her. i know it. and i dont want to hurt the other person. i dont. i want to move on, but moving on means leaving someone ive been after for so long and it'll make me feel like i've wasted the last 2 years of my life and i don't know if i can handle that feeling. i dont think i can take it. i unno. i feel like such a jackass...like life is saying,"ha, the jokes on you pal". and i look in the mirror to see food on my face in front of a crowd of people. its just discouraging. that's all.
what do ya think...fire at will...the target is on my  ♥  and im ready for release.   


[on a good note, i had a very good nite tonite with all the people i was with, oldies and newbies, and this blog just came from hearing about how they love the relationships they are currently in. i wish it was me. ha. hella happy for them.]

Currently listening:
The All-American Rejects
By The All-American Rejects
Release date: 04 February, 2003
7:31 AM
 
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ゼロ冷却しなさい

 
boo...
 
Posted by ゼロ冷却しなさい on Saturday, June 11, 2005 - 8:07 AM
[Reply to this] 
ゼロ冷却しなさい

 

i know what to say now...

"Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love."

                              - Albert Einstein


 
Posted by ゼロ冷却しなさい on Saturday, June 11, 2005 - 8:16 AM
[Reply to this] 
TRIED TO CHILL BUT IM SO HOTT THAT YOU MELTED!

 

twanson,

 you know i love u and always will but you really dont have to profess your love for me on myspace!! lol !! hehehe. just kidding i know what you are going thorugh cuz i've been through it one too many times. heck i even went through it with you remember when i really liked you ALOT, and you were liking someone else... Yea although it seemed i got over you i liked you so much that i would listen to you talk about her and you would tell me how much you liked her and how she seemed so perfect for you(that i must say was not a fun experience). Although for a brief period i did believe you liked me , it was extremely obvious that tno matter how hard i tried you would always love her and i could never get you to look at me the way that you looked at her and so i gave up the losing battle but as i have told you i will always love you and you know you are like a brother to me now. my advice to you is to listen to your heart, if you are not ready to give up on her then dont but you cant just sit there and let your heart be put through the grinder. you have to do what you think is right when you are ready and like the movie cliches always say " if it was meant to be , it will be ."

                                    like a fat kid in dodgeball,

                                                 IM OUT !!!

                                                  Keep your  head up

                                                       _*nEsSa*_


 
Posted by TRIED TO CHILL BUT IM SO HOTT THAT YOU MELTED! on Sunday, June 12, 2005 - 4:33 PM
[Reply to this] 
Randy

 
Ha. I know this type of rant. I had the same one about 5 months ago. It was hilarious, actually. I was up one day and down the next. Worst fucking emotional truckload I'd ever been hit with. Can't get over the girl, even though you know you should move on because there's so many other girls out there, you're bound to find at LEAST one that's better than her. Yeah, man. I know. Whew, do I know.

I'd listen to the other comments on this though. Tell her. Damnit, TELL HER. It's the only way you're going to get any sense of closure. I told my girl. Know what happened? Absolute hell, actually...but AFTER that hell, I ended up with her. So it IS possible. And the only way you're gonna find out if she feels the same way is to ask her. It's not like you live right next door to her, so you're not going to be able to hint at it everyday like I did. But you gotta do something. Love sucks if it doesn't go your way.

 
Posted by Randy on Monday, July 25, 2005 - 2:08 AM
[Reply to this]