There must be a full moon this week as everything seems a little weird. People doing strange stuff, mad news stories and odd TV moments. For instance isn’t it ironic that Kerry Katona is being fired by Iceland for snorting some snow? How mad is it that celebrities are getting their heads beaten off them in aid of hospitals on RTE’s ‘Charity Lords of the Ring’. Did you see Alan Shortt’s bloodied nose? I think most of the money that he raised for The Mercy Hospital in Cork will end up being used on him. And don’t get me wrong, we’re delighted to see our old pal Lucy Kennedy back on the telly, but is it just me, or is it not strange for a pregnant woman to be hosting a boxing show? As for the oddest of thing of all this week; Ireland’s most prestigious lovely girl competition ‘The Rose of Tralee’ is being held in a hotel owned by Ireland’s biggest debtor and loan defaulter Liam Carroll. I’m not sure what message that sends out to the rest of the world, but it makes me a bit uncomfortable. It’s like when people reminisce fondly about Charlie Haughey or Bertie. Two of the most notorious shysters that ever were! Charlie spending our money like there was no tomorrow, buying islands, mansions, yachts and dolly birds and Bertie borrowing money, forgetting about borrowing money and jumping ship when we the going got tough. But, oh no, there’s always the people who’ll sing their praises to the very end.....

I can hear them now, “Ah, sure that Liam Carroll fella is a real gentlemen. Sure you can hardly blame him for borrowing those billions, if the banks were doling it out anyway!” Yeah, Liam, like Charlie and Bertie might well be the type of down to earth man that if you bumped into him would buy you a pint at the bar, but don’t forget folks we’re the ones that will be picking up their billion Euro tab for the rest of our lives.....

Podge....

 ....

I am absolutely livid, as once again I have been banned from Tralee for the week of the Rose of Tralee festival. I was certain the court order that the Boston Rose had taken out in1975, would have run out by now. But apparently an escort arriving nude at a Roses hotel room is still frowned upon. I had even saved up a couple of hundred Euros to stay in Fels Point Hotel and contribute to the Liam Carroll ‘Stay of Jail Fund’. But no, the Garda letter arrived yesterday warning me to stay away or face prosecution. I’m about as welcome as a Traveller feud in Tralee this week! But for once I don’t care as my heart is elsewhere. Her name is Diana Donnelly and she’s Ireland’s entry into this years Miss Universe competition. If they hadn’t confiscated my passport I’d be flying off to the Bahamaland to cheer on our Dee and raise my flagpole in honour of her!....

I’m done with the Rose of Tralee Festival for good with it’s twee singing and dancing and ‘girl next door’ diddly eye. I don’t care which ones are taller than Ray D’Arcy or what Daithi O’Se thinks makes for a good Rose. No, despite what Joe Duffy’s listeners would like you to believe, 2009 is the year of the Irish bikini babe. Maybe it’s the recession that has them wearing less, but this year Irish girls are looking hot! Take double D-Diana, she feckin’ gorgeous and this weekend could give any of those Miss Universe babes a run for their money. And what about Georgia Salpa? If I was Neven Maguire I wouldn’t have wasted any time sticking some meat between her baps! Then there’s the other new bikini babes on the block; like blonde bombshell Nadia Forde, sultry Louise Kavanagh and I’d wouldn’t mind seeing Ruth O’Neill totally exposed! ....

So who needs to import Roses from abroad when we’re harvesting our very own from the totty fields of Eire!....