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The real
question isn’t whether I’ll be voting ‘yes’ or ‘no’ on Friday, it’s more a case
of will I be bothered getting off me hairy hole to stroll down to the booth at
all. If like me, you’re stuck in the ‘undecided’ camp and like 80% of the
country you haven’t bothered your hole actually reading the treaty document,
then why not take pen to paper and write down three reasons to vote for, and
three to vote against, and then see where you’re at. Here’s what I’ve come up
with.....
Three
Reasons to vote ‘No’:....
1. The simple fact that Biffo and the
Fianna Failures, the poxy Trade Unions and worst of all that luggage-stealing
gobshite Michael O’Leary wants us all to vote ‘Yes’, is a good enough reason to
vote No!....
2. We’re being told that we must vote
‘Yes for jobs’! But since the dole money’s so good, why would I want to go
ruining things by getting a job?....
3. After all we’ve been through,
everything from the famines to Cromwell, from 1916 to the Peace Treaty, do we
really want foreigners to rule us again?....
Three
reasons to vote ‘Yes’....
1. Similar to reason one above, Declan
Ganley, Jim Corr, the Shinners and worst of all the UKIP want us to vote ‘no’
therefore we should vote ‘Yes’....
2. Our own government have done such a
shite job running the country, maybe we’d be better off letting the frogs or
the Nazi’s have a go.....
3. Vote yes, so that more good looking
foreign birds come over here for us fellas to oogle, because if they go home
we’ll be left with the hatchet-faced double-bagger cailini we had before!....
So there ya
have it, the pros and cons of the Lisbon Treaty in six simple points for you to
mull over and then decide whether you’ll bother you’re hole voting or not. And
don’t worry, there’ll always be Lisbon 3!....
Podge....
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They’re
telling us that we need to vote ‘Yes’ for our children’s sake. It’s their future
that we must try and secure after the mess that we’ve made and Lisbon will be
part of the process of ensuring a future for Irish kids. But have you actually
looked at the cut of young people we have nowadays? I don’t think a ‘yes’ for
Lisbon or Nama or anything else for that matter is going to help this lot.....
I mean back
when we were growing up, we all looked like Irish children; we all wore shorts
and woolly jumpers, we had bad haircuts done by your mammy, snot covered
sleeves, scuffed knees and twenty major in the back pocket. But modern kids
come in all shapes, sizes and colours. They have Judas Brothers haircuts, Miley
Cyphilis white teeth, clothes from Abrakebabra and Finch, jPods, mobile phones
and light up runners. In fact if you stood an Irish child side by side with an
American child, you couldn’t tell the difference, not even by the accent! ....
Here we all
are getting all stressed about our national identity being diluted by Europe,
when in fact the children we’re fighting for couldn’t care less about being
Irish, they all want to be from The Hills. For them the possible loss of our
country’s neutrality pales into insignificance compared to the outrage that the
youth felt when Kayne John West’s stole the mic from Taylor Swift at the MTV
awards! ....
The fact is
that we shouldn’t be so worried about being sucked into Europe as we’ve already
lost our kids to America! I’m sure half of them think Obama is President of the
United States of Ireland. ....