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So now that
we’re all ratified with our European neighbours in Lisbon does that mean that
we can get rid of some of the rats scurrying around our capital? Like the rest
of yis I was shocked, but hardly surprised to hear yet another expenses
scandal. I remember when our politicians were all tut tutting when the MP’s
across the pond last year were caught using public money to clean their moats
and others keeping illegal immigrant housekeepers locked up in their basement.
But of course it was only a matter of time when our lot would catch up and
outdo their Brit counterparts. Our very own Clown Comhairle John ‘five star’
O’Donoghue, a man who was above politics, and now it seems, thinks of himself
above us all. From the tally of outrageous expense claims, it looks like John
thought he was Donald feckin’ Trump, not a public servant. He was so far up his
own golden hole that he thought nothing of the taxpayer chipping in to pay, not
only for him, but for his missus to travel the world, first class of course,
and dine in the fanciest restaurants and stay in the swankiest hotels on offer.....
“Can I book a limo to take me from my
room to the foyer?” he’d say, “Why certainly Maharajah O’Donoghue”....
“I need to
fly back to Kerry from Cannes for a proper pint of the black stuff and then
onto Cardiff for a rugger match, then to Cheltenham for the gee gees and then
back to Cannes again? he’d request, “No problemo, Commandante O’Donoghue!”....
“Can I hire
a chimpanzee to wipe my hole?” he’d bark, “Certainly Sir John”.....
Yes, he’s
been living it up at our expense but it’s finally hit the fan, and it looks
like it’s death by a thousand limousines for our in-Sultan of Kerry. I doubt he’s too worried though, as
he’s already seen how the government has dealt with FAS freeloader, Sheik Rody Molloy.
His punishment; a nice pension and a golden handshake! ....
Podge....
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Unlike the
politicians who can get us taxpayers to pay for their gifts to each other (and
their families!) the rest of us will have think long and hard about what on
earth we’re going to do this Christmas. That’s right readers, the shops are
already optimistically stocked with shelves full of festive shite to tempt ya!
But this is no ordinary Christmas, it looks like it’s going to be a Blue
Christmas, what with the recession and all. Only a year or ago the kids were
writing to Santy looking for jPods, XFoxes and Wee’s. Parents dropping
thousands to keep the little brats happy for at least five minutes, but that’s
all changed. We now live in recession Ireland where teachers are now asking kids
to bring in their own jacks roll! The toughest lesson that the ‘children who
had everything’ are going to learn is that they now can’t have everything! I
can see Santy’s sack this year tightening up as parents with empty pockets will
have to go back to more traditional toys (‘traditional’ meaning cheap as
chips!) Can you imagine little Clayton’s face when instead of the Jonas
Brothers Pix Micro digital camera he was expecting, he gets the Guinness Book
of Records. What will little Francesca do when she unwraps what she thought
would be a High School Musical 3 dance mat only to find a nice knitted jumper
with her initials on it! ....
It’d be
nice to see the children of Ireland out and about again, getting some fresh
air, kicking a football around, doing the hula hoop, riding a second hand bike,
playing with clackers, bouncing a paddle ball around or doing tricks with a Yo
Yo. ....
They might
scream and scream and scream, and the revolting tiger cubs, will start
revolting, but perhaps, in the long run, the little bastard’s will be better
for it! ....