So. I know I had started recapping the Rock of Love Charm School and
abruptly quit. Truth is, it was so dreadfully dull I just stopped
watching it. Seems the only interesting thing that happened was at the
reunion when Sharon kicked Megan’s ass. But you didn’t think a shitty
Charm School season was gonna put the kibosh on my ROL recaps did you?
No way.
No way in hell.
Seems Dodge over on My Old Kentucky Blog has decided to recap the
show as well and at first I was a little bummed, but then I decided I
wasn’t gonna worry about it…I mean, I’ve been doing this since Season
1, Episode 1 so I welcome his voice to the cesspool that is Rock of
Love. I’d hope he’ll add an air of legitimacy to ROL, but you know what
they say about wrestling with pigs don’t you…you end up muddy and the
pig just has a good time.
You can tell VH1 has finally realized what they had with ROL and
have let the show become the caricature it’s always been trying to be.
Take a gaggle of women who find self-worth in their Jerry Springerness,
put them in the exceptionally close quarters of a tour bus, add all the
free liquor you can drink and ROLL FILM!
Results are the obvious. Some Brazilian whore dumps a glass of
something on some run of the mill whore’s head, sluts crying like the
last dick in the dickhouse just went limp and the obligatory skank
puking up the morning man chowder.
I mean, seriously, these girls are gonna be must see TV. A combined
IQ lower than the combined cc’s of silicone in their circus tittes.
Some of these skanks have duck lips that make Daisy’s look downright
waspy. There are at least 3 girls that you’d happily choose Angelique
over, and most of them you’d take your Mom to meet Heather on the pole
before taking home. And for now, we’ll stop short of mentioning the
horrific display’s of hair style and color….for now.
It’s gonna be a great season.
Episode 1 is the typical “meet the whores” gimmick and to be honest,
I’m no more able to remember a single name than I am able to remember
the stage name of the stripper I got a lap dance from last week. We met
the girls, the girls spent the better part of an hour confirming they
have the skankiness required to be on ROL and then 5 were sent home…one
so drunk she was swaying and stumbling on the line-up.
ROL is back bitches! Watch with me and look for regular updates on Fridays. Lemme know your thoughts.
Music inspired by this weeks episode available on ninebullets.net