Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 40
Sign: Leo
City: Winder
State: Georgia
Country: US
Signup Date: 11/11/2006
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Saturday, November 01, 2008
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Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
.. Originally posted November 1, 2008
Over the last few days, I've been contemplating the events that have
transpired over the last 14 months and how they have affected me and my family.
We've had some pretty exciting things going on and some that have been a
downright disappointment. We've learned the hard way who our true friends are
(or aren't as the case may be). We've also found out, or should I say we were
reminded, just how strong our family is and that by putting our faith in God we
can survive anything that is thrown at us. As I write the following, I have to
remind myself that God never closes one door without opening another and that
everything in life happens for a reason. Putting this jumble of thoughts down in
print has two purposes. The first is meant to be a means of getting all of the
bad stuff out of my head so I don't have to think about it any longer and I can
forgive the people who have so horribly wronged me and my family. I will not
directly mention any names but these people know who they are and if they read
this, remember… so does God! The second is to celebrate all the blessings my
family and I have received, not just over the last year but throughout our lives
together as persons of faith. And so I commence…The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
(Not necessarily in that order)As I reflect on the last year of our lives, I am constantly amazed by how people can be deliberately deceitful and vindictive. I am especially disappointed by people who would pass themselves off as "Christians" but obviously have know idea what it means to be one. Three particular things come to mind that they should remember:First – "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy
neighbour. – Exodus 20:16" Anyone have a clue about this one? It means
DON'T TELL LIES ABOUT PEOPLE! You can try to twist the facts around to make it
fit whatever little soap-opera you have going on in your head, but a lie is a
lie. I have been lied about plenty of times in my life and without a doubt I
have done my share lying as well. As I have grown older (thought not necessarily
wiser) I have realized that the only person I am hurting by lying is myself.
People see through that crap really fast. So to the individuals who continue to tell lies about me, people
know the truth and the only one you're hurting is yourself.Second – "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. –
Matthew 7:12" That's pretty straightforward. Treat people how you would
like to be treated. Hey folks… in life what goes around comes around and Karma
is a real bitch. Don't expect to screw people over and not have it come back and
bite you right in your ass. Likewise, if you treat people fairly you will also
be treated fairly.Third – "Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of
your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. – Leviticus 19:18"
Certainly, this is a hard one to live by. Many people's first reaction when they
have been wronged is to seek revenge. However, this follows the "Two wrongs
don't make a right" line that we all heard growing up. It is REQUIRED of God
that when you are wronged that you forgive the person who wrongs you. It's not a
Commandment per se, but it is all throughout the bible. If you think about it,
the whole bible is just a book on forgiveness.Moving on, I guess what prompted
this self-reflection is the fact that it has been almost exactly one year since
everything in my life was turned upside down. Looking back, I guess I should
have seen it coming. My nature is that I always try to see the best side of
people and I live my life by trying to be as fair as possible. However, life is
often not fair, especially when dealing with people who don't play by the same
rules. Moving to Georgia to be partners in a company was supposed to be an
exciting event for me and my family. It ended up being a huge disappointment (at
that time, anyway) and I ended up feeling confused and betrayed. I guess it's my
fault because despite the best advice of people who deal in business all day
long, I went against those old adages "Don't go into business with friends" and
"Always get it in writing."In a nutshell, I left a secure,
lucrative position at a multi-million dollar company in June of 2007 and moved
my family 2000 miles across the country to be a partner in a company. The
decision to move was based on promises and a Gentleman's Agreement. In
retrospect, that was probably my biggest mistake because a Gentleman's Agreement
and promises don't mean anything to a person who has no idea what business
ethics are. At the outset, I provided everything I had promised to the company
and was given excuse after excuse when it came time to reciprocate. The
partnership that we had agreed upon was the first thing to disappear, leaving me
wondering just what I had gotten my family into. As time progressed, other
details of our agreement continued to deteriorate until I finally got to the
point where it didn't make sense, financially or emotionally, to continue. In
October, upon final separation and ultimate dissolution of any final terms of
the original agreement, my wife and I decided we would try and start our own
company again. At this time, our financial resources were all but exhausted and
we didn't know if we'd even be able to make our next mortgage payment. I will
tell you now, in no uncertain terms, that it is by the grace of God that we
managed to gain some contract work and stay afloat. Once again, a door closes,
another opens.Heading into November of 2007, I
started getting calls from many of my old friends in the automotive industry who
were aware of the partnership plans and started asking me what had happened.
Despite my feeling of betrayal, I would simply answer "Things didn't work out
and we've moved on," which I thought was the best way to describe what happened.
I'd try to keep things simple and shift focus to other subjects. As it turns out
though, many of these people were calling to warn me that my name and reputation
was being dragged through the mud in a sleazy and vicious manner. Apparently
being threatened by my decision to start my own company, these "Christian"
people would go around and tell bold-faced lies about me, my family and my
company to anyone they thought would listen. What they failed to realize,
though, is that after being this business almost 12 years I have very many
friends. As I said before, people can see through bullshit rather quickly and
all that this ridiculously feeble and childish attack on my personal reputation
caused me was a little heartache. It did more to damage their credibility than
it did mine.Time went by and it eventually
got to the point where things cooled down and I guess I felt that enough was
enough. I contacted a mutual friend and through him tried to see if there was a
way to salvage any sort of relationship. Again, always trying to see the best in
people I figured I'd chalk everything up to this point as a bad business deal
and see if there was a way to move forward. After meeting together and reviewing
both sides, we had agreed that there was probably some misunderstandings and
tried to proceed in a reasonable fashion. At this time, I was setting up a deal
with a vendor to private label some of their products and agreed with my
"friend" and another business acquaintance to resell them in a joint venture. Of
course, this time it would all be under a contract agreement! Everyone was going
to make some money and things would go forward from there. Halfway into setting
up this deal, I found out from my vendor that these people were going behind my
back and trying to cut me out of my own private label deal. How about that for a
big "Screw You!" (Pass the Vaseline, please…) As they say, "Trick me once, shame
on you. Trick me twice, shame on me." I have a few other choice phrases that I
would love to use to describe exactly what I think about them, but it really
wouldn't accomplish anything to use them. At this point it is obvious that these
people have absolutely no sense of business ethics and I will no longer have any
dealings with them. Chapter closed.I guess the one thing I am
struggling to understand is why people that I considered my friends… people with
whom I shared meals with… people I've invited in my home… people whose children
played with mine… would lie right to my face (as well as behind my back), stab
me in the back, and deliberately try to hurt my family. Honestly, these were
people who we were considering at one point to be the Godparents of our
children. These were people whom I literally gave (yes, gave… for free) the
business they offered me a partnership in and then utlimately pushed me out of,
all the while telling me how if it wasn't for me they wouldn't be where they
are. These were people that I would help by providing advice, knowledge or
whatever else I could, without asking anything in return. As I look back, I have
to ask myself, "Was I really that blind and foolish?" I guess I must have been
because over the last 12 months I have found MANY other people who feel the same
way about these people as I do; Other people who have been lied to, stolen from,
and betrayed. Talking and commiserating with these people, while extremely
revealing, unfortunately provides little comfort. Mostly, it saddens me that I
have been such a poor judge of character and allowed myself to make decisions
that put my family in an extremely dangerous financial position. Alas, God has
provided and we have persevered.I guess that's the bad and the
ugly all tied up in one. I believe that you'd really have to be an ugly person
on the inside to treat people as badly as we have been treated. At least when I
die and I stand up in front of God I know that I will not be ashamed. I admit
that at times I may probably not be the greatest businessman in the world but I
have never intentionally screwed anyone. Anyway, I do want to take a moment and
add that despite all the bad things that have happened, there are good things
that have come out of them as well. Despite the fact that the partnership
failed, we would not have been able to move to Georgia or buy our house without
it. Many of my business contacts have been local ones and I don't know where
we'd be without those. I have also learned a bit more about the strength of my
family, which has kept me going every day. Sometimes I'm going crazy, but at
least I'm going! Now… on to the good stuff!Fortunately, the last 12 months
have brought our family many joys and causes for celebration! Our business has
continued to grow and every day we are thankful for all that we receive. The
private labeling of our products continues to be a success despite (or maybe
because of) the current economy and we continue to expand to other markets with
new opportunities arising frequently. Because of the expansion of our business,
we were able to bring Corey into the company full-time to handle sales and
marketing. I love that I get to work with my best friend every day! Again, we
give thanks to God for always providing what we need (and occasionally what we
want) and we do our best to return and share our blessings.We are also grateful for Corey
being able to work from home as it provides the opportunity to home-school our
children this year. Both Liam and Wil are extremely bright and while they have
excelled in the public school system (both skipping a grade) they still feel
underchallenged in their classes. However, Corey is a fantastic teacher and has
the patience of a saint when it comes to dealing with children. I know that
under her guidance our boys will be better prepared for life's
challenges.Recently we took Liam and Wil to
Disney World (not Disneyland!!) in Orlando, FL. This was the first time Liam has
gone and the last time Wil went, he was so small he doesn't remember it. It is
always fascinating to see a child's reaction the first time they go to the Magic
Kingdom. To see in real life the characters, the creatures, and the settings
they grew up watching in movies or on TV. To still believe in magic, that
fairies are real, and that it just might be possible to be a kid forever. I am
grateful for the time we got to spend together as a family without worry and
hope we can do it again next year.I also want to add that while
not affecting our immediate family, our sister Renee' and her husband Kurt had a
new baby boy this year. Jake is just as cute as a bug and we couldn't be happier
for them. Now their daughter Allie has someone to take care of.Well that's enough for one
sitting. I'm probably going to add more (good stuff) as time permits, but at
least I feel as a load has been lifted off my shoulders and I can now move my
life forward in a positive manner. I hope that those who have tried to hurt my
family understand what they've done and regret their actions. I know that's
asking a lot, but there it is. I do want to say that I forgive them for the
injuries they have caused and will continue to pray for them.Until next time…
Peace.Bill
11:06 PM
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