Once upon a time, there was a little girl whose favorite actor in the whole world was Eddie Murphy. She loved him soooo much, that she carried a Sharpie around with her, everywhere she went, so that when she was in line at the grocery store, she could do this:
She really loved supporting her favorite actor in any way she could.
The little girl just couldn't help herself.
"It is, after all, the little things that count," she always said.
April 3rd, 2007 found the little girl passing out copies of her version of the Holy Bible on the street in front of her idol's home.
She had done a search and replace to supplant every "Noah", "Moses", and "Jesus H. Christ" with "The Venerable Mr. Edward M. Himself"
"Today reigns his birthday supreme! The Year Forty-Six of our Lord and Liege!"
That's when she felt the handcuffs go on.
"NO! You don't know what you're doing!" Tears were flying down her cheeks and I think I saw a little spit come out of her mouth. "Vengeance is Eddie's! He shall repay! Death! Disease! Famine! Weeping! Much weeping and Pluto Nashing of teeth!"
There was an intense struggle, but the girl was small and the police were many. The car pulled away, blue lights flashing in the dark rain.
"What station are you taking me to?" the little girl wearily asked the driver.
"Why, Beverly Hills, of course."
The girl snuggled into her seat with a satisfied grin. She could rest now. She was finally going to get to meet her cop.