If you've ever had an inkling that surveys claiming men have more sexual partners than women just can't be right, you're not alone. Mathematician David Gale recently questioned the numbers because they just don't add up! And he has proven mathematically that they must be false. It is statistically impossible for men to have an average of 12.7 heterosexual partners in their lives while women have only 6.5 (as a recent British study showed its respondents claiming), regardless of any adjustments made for men having sex with prostitutes or foreign sexual partners.

Who is misreporting and why? And why did we believe the bogus numbers for so long?

Men and women face a ton of stereotypical expectations regarding their sexual behavior. "Manly" men are expected to be promiscuous and have a lot of sexual experience with many partners. The worst thing for a man to be is inexperienced. Or worse, a virgin! *gasp* For women, it's just the opposite. Women are expected to be "good girls" with little interest in sex, only enjoying it with monogamous partners. A woman with "too many" sexual partners or that has sex outside of monogamous relationships is labeled "easy" or a "slut." The best thing a woman can be is a virgin! Can you see the problem here?!

Perhaps it should be no surprise, then, that study from a few years ago showed that women are much more likely to lie about their "number" than men are. When handed questionnaires about their sexual experiences and told that the results would be anonymous, men's numbers stayed high, and women's numbers stayed low. But when respondents were told that they were hooked up to a lie detector (they weren't, really), men's numbers stayed about the same, while women's almost doubled!

All of this serves as yet another reminder that even though sex is everywhere (the news, the media, the web, the school bus, etc) honest discussion about healthy sexuality is hard to find. We all need to have the most comprehensive, medically-accurate, and honest education about sex so we can make informed choices about our sexual health. Abstinence-only programs only add to the shame and silence around sexuality.

Send your NYS legislators a message that we need REAL sex ed. And for good, updated info on sexual health and sexuality, check out Teenwire and Planned Parenthood. And remember, it is better to be honest about your "number" and sexual activity, especially with your doctor! As long as you are having consensual sex using safer sex methods to reduce the risk of pregnancy and/or STI's, your "number" is fine!