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Elaine Miles



Last Updated: 11/18/2009

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Status: Single
City: Seatown
Country: US
Signup Date: 11/13/2006

Who Gives Kudos:

40 Rabbits (2)
Marcia (Dan.. (2)
(2)
Sarah (2)
JOJO (2)
(2)
AHFRODER (2)
SHINING ELK.. (2)
Takabi (2)
Mis (2)
Rocky (2)
Friday, January 30, 2009 

Current mood:confused & happy
Why are break ups so Damn hard!?!?  Especially when the feelings aren't mutual.  Is it always hard for one to understand.  Can't he see I just want to move on.  I'm very happy!!  I realized I couldn't handle the "Tight Reins" he put on me. 
 
Couldn't talk to my friends or family for that matter.  That isn't love!  Right?  Or am I wrong for wanting to get out of this situation?  I feel I'm very out going.  I talk to anyone anytime.  I have a lot of male friends.  Something he couldn't handle.  So why would he want to keep me around.  When I'm NOT happy!!

Some of my friends saw the shit hit the fan before I did!  Okay I was wrong to go with him.  Especially when he was in a relationship.  But at that time he wasn't happy there.  We made each other happy.  Yeah, okay it was just the sex!!hahaha  So bad!  But I didn't chase him, he chased me!! 

Now it is a new year.  Things are actually going pretty good for me.  Work is good.  Home life is good.  I've been happy!!  Don't see me crying around.  I feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted off my shoulders.  So why can't he understand?  Makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. 

Even when it is the anniversary of my mom's death next month.  I feel okay.  I miss her.  But she would agree with me.  What the hell am I doing?  I wish she were her to help me understand.   Guess that's why I put up the Conway Twitty song.hahaha 

I've had my secret buddy that is always there when I need him.  So where are you "Damn It"  If there is a time I need you is right now.  I should have listened to you to begin with!! : (  PLEASE don't tell me "I TOLD YOU SO"

Well hopefully the both of them will see this & read it.  Knowing what they need to know.  My momma is always with me.  So I know she'll talk to me one of these nights. 
 
One confused woman!! : (
3:08 AM
 
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Previous Post: Want to Thank Everyone | Back to Blog List | Next Post: It's been a year since my Momma passed away!
40 Rabbits

 
...ahhh...you're right...bad relationships are not worth staying in...keep moving ahead and focusing on yer goals...hope to see ya soon...40
 
Posted by 40 Rabbits on Saturday, January 31, 2009 - 12:38 AM
[Reply to this] 
Marcia (Dancing Feather)

 
Hon when it doesn't feel right ya gotta get out...you can't make someone happy when your not. You have that shining personality that can't be contained... stay that way ...yeh I miss my mom too but I know she is with me too just like yours is... can't wait to see "Wyvern Saturday night...luck to ya gurl.....
 
Posted by Marcia (Dancing Feather) on Saturday, January 31, 2009 - 12:39 AM
[Reply to this] 
Gumby Cascadia

 
Damn, that jealousy thing is the worst. Why don't they get that it just chases us away? It's the self-fulfilling prophecy thing... "I'm afraid she'll meet someone and leave me. I'm afraid someone else will give her things I can't. So, I'll grab a hold... a CHOKE hold, so she can't have ANY relationships with ANYone..." Duh. Then we leave. Its that or suffocate. Some of the people I've loved the most have chased me away like that. I feel ya. Hang tough... you did the right thing. peace, Shelley
 
Posted by Gumby Cascadia on Saturday, January 31, 2009 - 12:40 AM
[Reply to this] 
Boyz 'r Boyz....& need to grow up
Vickie B

 
aLWAYS HERE FOR YA SISTER.....YOU JUST GOTTA DYAL THE DIGITS!!!!!
 
Posted by Boyz 'r Boyz....& need to grow up on Saturday, January 31, 2009 - 12:40 AM
[Reply to this] 
Ojibwe

 
one of my favorite quotes 'this to, shall pass', has helped me through a lot. even last nights beans *jk* I recently broke up with someone too and I tell ya, that song 'there are no good, good-byes' is just too true; it just takes some people a little longer to 'get over it'.

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I too believe that she is there for you in heart.
you take care of yourself and congrats on having a good year so far!
@};-
 
Posted by Ojibwe on Saturday, January 31, 2009 - 12:41 AM
[Reply to this] 
Lu

 
Elaine,
don't feel bad about "moving on", "Love isn't suppose to hurt," It's suppose to make you Happy,& feel good.

Some people just can't take being rejected.
(We women) mature more than most men, so,Maybe someday, You'll find a grown-up MAN< LOL! take care, all my best, Lu *L*
 
Posted by Lu on Saturday, January 31, 2009 - 12:42 AM
[Reply to this] 
AHFRODER

 
No Elaine, you are not confused.... You did the right thing! You allowed your mind to override your heart (and body, sounds like). That is the mature and responsible thing to do. It is obvious he is not concerned about your happiness. It sounds like he has a lot of control issues. That can be dangerous! The more he senses he can control someone, the the tighter those "reins" will be pulled! You are wise to get out while you still have your sanity in tact. Most often in love, our bodies tend to want to be happy first, then our heart and last, our mind. It is our responsibility to protect ourselves by allowing our hearts and minds communicate openly to make sure THEY are happy first. Once that has been determined, the happiness of the body will soon follow. (-: Sounds to me like your self-protection mode kicked in just when you needed it to. He is out there and you will be happy! You deserve that much. Someone who will appreciate you and not be happy himself until he sees joy in your eyes. ..... And not being able to talk to your fam and friends??? That ain't right! Doesn't he know who you are? AHFRODER
 
Posted by AHFRODER on Saturday, January 31, 2009 - 12:44 AM
[Reply to this] 
SHINING ELK ENTERTAINMENT, INC.
Michelle Shining Elk

 
You are on the right path and going in the right direction. I had one of those relationships too -- it was a tough transition to move on, but it was by far the best thing I could have ever done for myself. Like I always say -- I'd rather been happy and sometimes lonely single than miserable and unhappy in a relationship.


Stay strong! It's in you. You are your mother's daughter.

 
Posted by SHINING ELK ENTERTAINMENT, INC. on Saturday, January 31, 2009 - 12:44 AM
[Reply to this] 
Takabi

 
Holding someone too close winds up putting them behind ya...... gotta be happy! "ton of bricks have been lifted" says it all...... Hope you get unconfused soon!
 
Posted by Takabi on Saturday, January 31, 2009 - 12:44 AM
[Reply to this] 
ravenflier
Dennis Willard

 
I felt compelled to post a reply when it comes to being part of an abusive relationship. You and I have the same heart when it comes to relationships and have faced the same situation. I can't say this is the formula for success but can tell you what worked for me. Here's where my advise comes into play...keep walking. Don't look back even if they get louder. It doesn't matter to people like this about how they treat you in fact they feel they doing you a favor. It is now a time of healing for you because self-esteem is low. You have altered yourself to meet his needs and have forgotten about your own. Time to re-establish communication with friends and loved ones who have been left out because of him. It is never about you leaving it is about him losing power over you. Just say it's been a slice and never return since you are much better than that. It is time to be yourself once again. I know great things lie ahead because we share the same path. I have been there and can say I have never been more happy.

 
Posted by ravenflier on Saturday, January 31, 2009 - 12:45 AM
[Reply to this] 
Majesty

 
I can relate to a lot of things here, Sis. I know you will get thru this OK. If you learn from any situation or relationship, then hey, don't be hard on yourself.....OK. // I miss Auntie a lot too. I miss her big smile that would greet me even before I made it to her presence, she was, and still is such a beautiful, beautiful soul// has my nephew gone hunting yet?? That was an awesome Christmas gift for him// HUGz............a million Hugz.............ur Sis (through bloodline) and at heart.

 
Posted by Majesty on Saturday, January 31, 2009 - 12:45 AM
[Reply to this] 
Mis
Melissa Sanchez

 
wow!
thats great news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you know exactly everything i would say, so have a nice frosty beverage for me and you and take a moment to imagine the words i'd be sharing, ending with a big ol ALRIGHT MIJA! onward, forward and upward
xoxooxox
 
Posted by Mis on Monday, February 02, 2009 - 1:14 AM
[Reply to this] 
Angelia the Libertine!

 
I HAD THAT HAPPEN.
THAT CAN END IN A LITTLE THING CALLED "LOSS OF LIFE"! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!
 
Posted by Angelia the Libertine! on Friday, February 06, 2009 - 3:14 AM
[Reply to this] 
Rocky
Rocky Rockholt

 
The guy's lucky he didn't get a frying pan upside his head. Doesn't he know that NDN girls MAKE the rules? If someone ever tried to tell any of my female relatives who they could talk to, they'd be looking into reconstructive surgery in about 15 min. He's just lucky you're such a sweetie.

 
Posted by Rocky on Friday, February 20, 2009 - 4:18 AM
[Reply to this]